Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CallMeBloo

Offline (the 06/30/2014 at 7:32pm) | Search for a member

CallMeBloo

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 July 1986 (28 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4530
  • Number of comments : 195
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.

CallMeBloo's page activity

Visits<b>shiny_shipper</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:44pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:35pm<b>Clay_Pidgeon</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 6:08pm<b>ThatSlappinBass</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:58am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 11:04pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:17pm<b>crapmaster3000</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 10:11pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 10:14pm<b>damoki</b> - the 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm<b>ShadowSecret15</b> - the 07/24/2012 at 11:31pm<b>unluckymann</b> - the 07/24/2012 at 10:59pm<b>worldarc</b> - the 07/23/2012 at 4:26am<b>RetardedPotato</b> - the 07/22/2012 at 6:46pm<b>Futacy</b> - the 07/22/2012 at 9:31am<b>super3286</b> - the 07/22/2012 at 4:29am<b>rahrah765765</b> - the 07/21/2012 at 9:38am<b>hajjaxchik</b> - the 07/21/2012 at 5:34am<b>blubberfish</b> - the 07/21/2012 at 4:41am

CallMeBloo's FML badges

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

Facebook

Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

See all of CallMeBloo's badges

CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that lemonade and urine look very similar to one another. I also learned that they taste very different. FML

#19183554
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15177) - you deserved it (20454)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by iVaughtTV - United States (Indiana)

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (2163)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9827) - you deserved it (31843)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27837) - you deserved it (2172)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17169) - you deserved it (29489)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9386) - you deserved it (32603)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML

#19138758
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8211) - you deserved it (21817)

On 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by nevergettingajob (man) - Canada

Today, I found out my mom has been stealing from me to pay for Scientology courses. FML

#19134973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27916) - you deserved it (2060)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by sonofanut - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
406 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38121) - you deserved it (5625)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20882) - you deserved it (24617)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

#19121013
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (40920)

On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15774) - you deserved it (29129)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34786) - you deserved it (2484)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

#19072252
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21805) - you deserved it (4962)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

#19069104
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5584) - you deserved it (35861)

On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: