About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
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CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs
by LiveLoveLys / 03/31/2012 at 2:28pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML
by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love
by bananamuffin / 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm / United States / Work
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
by Anon / 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Money
by Alyssa / 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money
Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML
by PatientInWaiting / 03/19/2012 at 6:37am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML
by Teh_dw33bin4tor / 03/15/2012 at 8:12am / Australia / Love
Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by mel_bear_ / 03/14/2012 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
by sad face / 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by beernuts / 03/06/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Health
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health
Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML
by argh / 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…