CallMeBloo

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Offline (the 05/06/2015 at 1:41am)

CallMeBloo

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 July 1986 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 13337
  • Number of comments : 196
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.

CallMeBloo's page activity

Visits<b>Emmalyne606777</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:26pm<b>arrouz</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 3:52am<b>Klover1</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 5:23am<b>kaiboi702</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 6:15am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 10:02am<b>Wondermage</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 7:51pm<b>hebdbdbdb</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:56pm<b>Lars93</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 5:20pm<b>ricardof</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:55pm<b>killer0689</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:26pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:24pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:00pm<b>whitelightning19</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:36pm<b>rowanrules41</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 8:57pm<b>Michaelmore</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:20pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 9:53am<b>shiny_shipper</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 8:44pm<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 7:35pm

CallMeBloo's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Tweet, tweet

You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.

Seen it!

You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.

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CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML

Today, I confided to my dad that my girlfriend had dumped me for another guy. He said "good" and explained that given how overpopulated the planet is, he's actually disappointed that I'm not gay. His advice was: "just wank it off and move on". FML

by sad / 03/30/2012 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Love

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

by bananamuffin / 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm / United States / Work

Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML

by Anon / 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Money

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

by Alyssa / 03/20/2012 at 9:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Money

Today, I had a conversation with another patient in my gyno's waiting room. It was about her getting pregnant in a truck while passed out drunk, her therapist's frequent use of a "For Dummies" books, and how she had waxed and oiled everything to impress our doctor. FML

by PatientInWaiting / 03/19/2012 at 6:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to hit on a very attractive girl. I guess I was too drunk to remember it was my family reunion. FML

by Austin Franklin / 03/18/2012 at 7:41am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML

by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my visibly drunk uncle stood up and denounced the minister for "preaching yer god shite where it weren't never be welcome". FML

by mel_bear_ / 03/14/2012 at 10:38am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

by sad face / 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, due to the powerful antibiotic I was taking for a bad infection on my knee, I had no control over my bowels and shat my pants while discussing a plumbing problem in a customers basement. FML

by beernuts / 03/06/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Health

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

by argh / 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

by BadIdea / 03/01/2012 at 4:23pm / France / Intimacy