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CallMeBloo

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CallMeBloo
  • Town/Country : Ocala, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 July 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 2145
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.

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CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs

Today, my job at a luxurious retirement community was terminated when I ran over an old lady with my work golf cart. FML

#18852472
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7179) - you deserved it (43616)

On 01/19/2012 at 10:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out if I refuse my boyfriend anything in public, he will continually yell out, "Penis!" until he gets his way. FML

#18837069
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20253) - you deserved it (6100)

On 01/17/2012 at 6:41pm - misc - by anon. (woman) - United States

Today, I broke my wrist when I got into a disagreement with a horse. FML

#18831688
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16312) - you deserved it (9370)

On 01/17/2012 at 1:13am - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML

#18829619
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38457) - you deserved it (9419)

On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (13543)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18255) - you deserved it (3350)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML

#18806135
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (8717)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why having sex with him was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty Pringles can. FML

#18772275
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11660) - you deserved it (29003)

On 01/11/2012 at 12:42am - intimacy - by bunnyluver4545 - United States (Texas)

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher; I've already given students detention for falling asleep in class this year. FML

#18765510
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6409) - you deserved it (35448)

On 01/10/2012 at 9:50am - work - by nevasurprised - Germany

Today, my distraught mom called me, saying my dad had killed himself and to come home right away. After cussing out my math teacher for trying to stop me and rushing back home in a taxi, I ran into the living room, only to find my parents laughing so hard they were practically in tears. FML

#18758727
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59669) - you deserved it (2783)

On 01/09/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by fuckparents (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after 3 hours in a cramped car with my family, we stopped at a gas station. I got out of the car and the first words out of my mouth were, "It feels so good to be able to walk!" That's when I noticed the elderly man sitting in a wheelchair only a few meters away. FML

#18742973
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32412) - you deserved it (10002)

On 01/08/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by VerbalDiarrhea (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one. FML

#18733573
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19017) - you deserved it (37898)

On 01/07/2012 at 5:27am - intimacy - by Danny - Australia

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

#18728006
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25784) - you deserved it (3601)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:49pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

#18716043
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30106) - you deserved it (8629)

On 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by lorahayes (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

#18687343
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10117) - you deserved it (28627)

On 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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