About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML
by fuq / 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML
by sickdisney / 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML
by jessye1182 / 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm / United States (New York) / Kids
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work
by screwedupkid / 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous
by gumless / 05/02/2012 at 11:19am / United States / Health
by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love
by foshizzle / 04/25/2012 at 2:46am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by MI3 / 04/19/2012 at 3:34am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by kayadd33 / 04/10/2012 at 10:13am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by psychoticbiatch / 04/08/2012 at 9:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by darkestbarbie / 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…