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CallMeBloo

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CallMeBloo
  • Town/Country : Ocala, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 July 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 2120
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.

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CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs

Today, in bio class, we were studying the reproductive system. I don't like talking about this stuff, and I twitched every time my teacher said "penis" or "vagina." When I told my family, they laughed and kept repeating those words just to see me twitch. FML

#19182988
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8228) - you deserved it (28218)

On 02/28/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by kal - United States (New York)

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

#19180967
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25180) - you deserved it (1976)

On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16464) - you deserved it (28438)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8722) - you deserved it (30706)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, after handing in my resume to get a part-time job, I tried leaving, but the door wouldn't open. It was the "in" door. The person I gave my resume to had to slowly explain this to me. FML

#19138758
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7331) - you deserved it (19751)

On 02/22/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by nevergettingajob (man) - Canada

Today, I found out my mom has been stealing from me to pay for Scientology courses. FML

#19134973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24625) - you deserved it (1816)

On 02/21/2012 at 10:14pm - misc - by sonofanut - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36495) - you deserved it (5416)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I set my alarm half-an-hour earlier so I could masturbate. That's how horny and single I am. FML

#19129332
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16176) - you deserved it (17030)

On 02/21/2012 at 3:10am - intimacy - by desperate905 - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

#19121013
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7579) - you deserved it (37740)

On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14340) - you deserved it (26880)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31602) - you deserved it (2264)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, I walked into two things. The first was a spiderweb. The second, due to blind panic, was oncoming traffic. FML

#19072252
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20706) - you deserved it (4798)

On 02/14/2012 at 7:39am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that getting drunk and attempting to take a dump out of a second-story window is a very bad idea. FML

#19069104
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4904) - you deserved it (33110)

On 02/13/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by michael (man) - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9310) - you deserved it (71943)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, my dog attacked me because I had a chicken costume on for a party. I'm currently in a hospital, dressed as a chicken, waiting for medical assistance. FML

#19046512
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (3955)

On 02/11/2012 at 5:19am - animals - by lulu - United States (Ohio)



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