About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.
CallMeBloo's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
You’ve watched 5 FML videos on the website, and commented on them.
CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 07/12/2012 at 2:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by anidiotskeeper / 07/12/2012 at 2:03am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/11/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Texas) / Work
by mustanggt / 07/10/2012 at 11:39am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML
by Concert Flatulent / 07/10/2012 at 12:44am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML
by jillie minaj / 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I spoke to my hormonal pregnant wife about baby names. I told her I liked the name "Tabitha", and she went into a full rage about how all letters have textures, colours and emotions and how T is an evil letter. Apparently it's orange, plastic, and a needle trying to stab her eyes out. FML
by LNamesOnly / 07/09/2012 at 3:31am / Australia / Kids
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 11:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/08/2012 at 7:26am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
by hotpatata / 07/06/2012 at 11:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 9:38am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my wife, who is four months pregnant, burst into tears while thinking about the armchair in our living room that we never use. According to her, we're stopping it from living out its destiny as an armchair. FML
by FauteuilEver Alone / 07/05/2012 at 4:11am / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my roommate's room to ask him a question, only to see a pitcher with over a pint of urine in it sitting on his bookcase. This is at least the fifth conversation in a year I've had with him about not peeing in containers in his room. FML
by notestojenn / 07/04/2012 at 10:55pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by bob / 07/03/2012 at 1:33pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…