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CallMeBloo

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CallMeBloo
  • Town/Country : Ocala, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 July 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 2133
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.

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CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife allowed my mother-in-law to move in with us. She believes the government spies on her in the shower, and that the Prime Minister is a shape-shifting lizard who wants to microchip us all. I have to live with this psychotic wench until someone is desperate enough to employ her. FML

#19662623
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15910) - you deserved it (1574)

On 05/22/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by fuq (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I watched a movie with my little sister. I couldn't understand a word that was said during one scene, but I figured it was in some kind of made-up language. When I commented on it later, she called me a moron and said it was Spanish. FML

#19657382
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4554) - you deserved it (28105)

On 05/21/2012 at 2:42pm - kids - by sickdisney (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (3369)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and go seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

#19608555
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14187) - you deserved it (4704)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:16pm - kids - by jessye1182 - United States (New York)

Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML

#19568451
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14507) - you deserved it (3188)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -

Today, I tried whitening my teeth with an off-brand product. It didn't whiten my teeth, but it did burn parts of my gums off. FML

#19563057
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17310) - you deserved it (6095)

On 05/02/2012 at 11:19am - health - by gumless - United States

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

#19562059
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15696) - you deserved it (3983)

On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11263) - you deserved it (38061) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

#19526031
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20242) - you deserved it (2544)

On 04/25/2012 at 2:46am - work - by foshizzle (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML

#19511225
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18068) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/22/2012 at 1:12pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain to my neighbor that black people aren't all lactose intolerant. His eyes still bulge out every time I eat cheese. FML

Today, my daughter sat me down for a long talk. It turns out that she thinks she is the Chosen One. FML

Today, it's my 30th birthday. I was having a great night until I overheard my mother say, "I can't believe that thing made it to 30." FML

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

#19412474
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7618) - you deserved it (22494)

On 04/05/2012 at 3:01pm - misc - by darkestbarbie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to explain to my 23-year-old boyfriend the difference between "your" and "you're". I do this every other day, but it's like his head is permanently stuck in the first grade. FML



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