About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.
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CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML
by Mitch / 07/19/2012 at 1:36pm / Puerto Rico / Love
Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML
by InsomniacToBe / 07/19/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Utah) / Love
by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 07/19/2012 at 12:55am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML
by anonymous / 07/18/2012 at 9:29pm / United States / Health
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
by FOXYgrandpa441 / 07/18/2012 at 8:41pm / United States (Wyoming) / Work
by News-print Face Kate / 07/18/2012 at 12:37pm / United Kingdom / Work
by trisha / 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML
by SwAGkiLlS / 07/15/2012 at 11:12am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML
by minaaaaajftw / 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm / Norway (Akershus) / Miscellaneous
by shorty4 / 07/13/2012 at 10:36am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by failure / 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…