Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CallMeBloo

Search for a member

CallMeBloo
  • Town/Country : Ocala, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 28 July 1986 (27 years)
  • Number of visits : 2131
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.

CallMeBloo's last visitors

crapmaster3000k_gilsShadowSecret15unluckymannRetardedPotatoFutacysuper3286rahrah765765hajjaxchik

CallMeBloo's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I NEED to know!

You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of CallMeBloo's badges

CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31080) - you deserved it (2702)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18316) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9356) - you deserved it (32986)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML

#19959059
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20980) - you deserved it (2601)

On 07/19/2012 at 1:36pm - love - by Mitch (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

#19958664
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18788) - you deserved it (3006)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:55am - love - by InsomniacToBe - United States (Utah)

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

#19957944
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29431) - you deserved it (2346)

On 07/19/2012 at 5:01am - health - by Epiphany (man) - United States

Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML

#19957248
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4610) - you deserved it (52897)

On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom about the severe phobia I've developed towards driving. She was very supportive and even made me an appointment to see a psychologist. His office is two hours away. I have to drive to see my doctor about my fear of driving. FML

#19956535
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18123) - you deserved it (2556)

On 07/18/2012 at 9:29pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML

#19956354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20654) - you deserved it (2498)

On 07/18/2012 at 8:41pm - work - by FOXYgrandpa441 - United States (Wyoming)

Today, a man slapped me in the face with his newspaper because I didn't get out of his way fast enough at the train station. I guess he didn't notice I was on crutches. FML

#19954505
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24783) - you deserved it (1376)

On 07/18/2012 at 12:37pm - work - by News-print Face Kate - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

#19946274
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22510) - you deserved it (6441)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML

#19940799
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19185) - you deserved it (3921)

On 07/15/2012 at 11:12am - love - by SwAGkiLlS - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to the grocery store with three bags full of sausages that I'd drunkenly bought the night before. Even though the manager remembered me, he wouldn't give me a refund, and now I'll be lucky if I can pay my rent this month. FML

#19933310
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5288) - you deserved it (30371)

On 07/13/2012 at 4:13pm - misc - by minaaaaajftw (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend, who is a fully-grown man, that making dinosaur noises in public is no longer acceptable. FML

#19932203
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14045) - you deserved it (5213)

On 07/13/2012 at 10:36am - misc - by shorty4 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in the middle of my online midterm, my computer decided to update and closed out of the test. It can't be retaken. FML

#19927975
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29652) - you deserved it (2710)

On 07/12/2012 at 12:08pm - misc - by failure - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: