About CallMeBloo : I enjoy laughing at people who have had hilarious moments of shame, whether they deserve them or not.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
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CallMeBloo's favorite FMLs
by 360whoroscoped / 01/16/2015 at 1:05pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work
by Anonymous / 01/14/2015 at 2:18am / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous
by briiiiiiii123 / 01/12/2015 at 2:56am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML
by Anonymous / 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm / United States (Vermont) / Love
Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML
by Anonymous / 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
Today, I woke up screaming like a little bitch. I'd been having a bizarre dream where I was having sex with Homer Simpson, when he suddenly had a heart attack and fell on me, crushing me to death. I think my brain needs a douching. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:20pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy
by MiserableMan / 06/10/2014 at 12:02am / Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh) / Love
Today, I used a public toilet. After I did my business in the stall and walked out, I was confronted by the sight of a man standing on tip-toes, holding his penis up to the automatic hand-dryer. Doubt I'll get that image out of my head any time soon. FML
by yepintheladiesroom / 06/07/2014 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML
by wo-ow / 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (New York) / Health
by Aether / 06/03/2014 at 6:51pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/02/2014 at 2:17pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2014 at 7:37am / United Kingdom (Wolverhampton) / Kids
Today, I had to kick my own father out of my house after he started attacking my wife for breastfeeding our newborn son in the living room. All the way to the door, he ranted that "You don't see me whipping my dick out and pissing in front of everyone, do you?" FML
by Q / 05/20/2014 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by romancocks / 05/09/2014 at 4:31pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Wowthanks / 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
- Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated.… Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I… Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a…