Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Calingaladha

Online | Search for a member

Calingaladha

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 March 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 525
  • Number of comments : 266
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Calingaladha : I'm a 21 year old Airman First Class in tech training as an Airborne Cryptologic Linguist. I enjoy Japanese culture, animal trivia (I'm a trained vet tech), and long walks on the sands of Tattooine.

Calingaladha's page activity

Visits<b>Infamous278</b> - yesterday at 5:58am<b>MaybeFML</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Threnody666</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:46am<b>poolguy69</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:36pm<b>willow196</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:13pm<b>fledgy12</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:54am<b>phosure</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 5:28pm<b>klar21</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:26pm<b>ned2392</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:03am<b>misshex</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:09am<b>KraZyKaT963</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:01am<b>avertree</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:13pm<b>carterjay1</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 10:39pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:16pm<b>fundara11</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 11:05pm<b>NourHYK</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 5:46pm<b>racha</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:17pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:33pm

Calingaladha's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Calingaladha's badges

Calingaladha's favorite FMLs

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (2530)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16332) - you deserved it (29904)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44357) - you deserved it (16470)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31976) - you deserved it (3498)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (5995)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18045) - you deserved it (23364)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31261) - you deserved it (6107)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got into a fist-fight with a wasp, aka a Nazi helicopter. Despite swiping at it with ninja-like skills, I lost. FML

#19040540
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7370) - you deserved it (24226)

On 02/10/2012 at 9:13am - animals - by Stung (man) - United Kingdom

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46735) - you deserved it (17584)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: