Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Calingaladha

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

Calingaladha

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 March 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 484
  • Number of comments : 259
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About Calingaladha : I'm a 21 year old Airman First Class in tech training as an Airborne Cryptologic Linguist. I enjoy Japanese culture, animal trivia (I'm a trained vet tech), and long walks on the sands of Tattooine.

Calingaladha's page activity

Visits<b>MaybeFML</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Threnody666</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 1:46am<b>poolguy69</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 10:36pm<b>willow196</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 11:13pm<b>fledgy12</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 10:54am<b>phosure</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 5:28pm<b>klar21</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 2:26pm<b>ned2392</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 3:03am<b>misshex</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 1:09am<b>KraZyKaT963</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:01am<b>avertree</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:13pm<b>carterjay1</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 10:39pm<b>TallyFtw69</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 6:16pm<b>fundara11</b> - the 05/07/2014 at 11:05pm<b>NourHYK</b> - the 02/02/2014 at 5:46pm<b>racha</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:17pm<b>emxy92</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:33pm<b>tomboynproud</b> - the 12/26/2013 at 8:07pm

Calingaladha's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Calingaladha's badges

Calingaladha's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43989) - you deserved it (16392)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (3494)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28456) - you deserved it (5995)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18014) - you deserved it (23339)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, saying, "I'm running a bath. Wanna come over and learn about water displacement?" I excitedly drove over, thinking he wanted to have some fun. No, he really did want to teach me about water displacement. FML

#20047830
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (6103)

On 08/29/2012 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML

#4543711
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46703) - you deserved it (17561)

On 08/15/2009 at 3:50am - love - by slipperyhands (man) - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: