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Offline (the 12/07/2016 at 5:08am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 March 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1757
  • Number of comments : 545
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About Calingaladha : This is stuff about me. Eventually. Maybe.

Calingaladha's page activity

Visits<b>HeavyWeaponsGuy</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 6:12pm<b>Hammeredup</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 3:35pm<b>Fennex3</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 6:48pm<b>sleepyolivia</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 10:23pm<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 3:21pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 12:28pm<b>routerere</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 10:17pm<b>manofmerr</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 12:09pm<b>delichick</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 2:26pm<b>dariella</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 6:02pm<b>anormalperson</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 5:28pm<b>gotaplanstan</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 8:28am<b>jordynMKD</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 3:17am<b>xDrakeNinja</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 12:10am<b>CrassKal</b> - the 07/24/2016 at 10:34pm<b>npayne</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 5:55pm<b>deathstroke990</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 1:44pm<b>amayraniescobar</b> - the 07/21/2016 at 2:35am

Fucked!<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 9:21pm<b>delichick</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 8:25pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/18/2016 at 4:35pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 06/28/2016 at 9:12pm<b>khurram91</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 11:11pm<b>ciaraash</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 9:23am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:41pm<b>lilly_petten21</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Vidrill</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:48pm

Calingaladha's FML badges

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Back from a party

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I’m your new creative director

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Calingaladha's favorite FMLs

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

by Garfield / 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my mom made me go to church choir rehearsal with her so I could sing "the gay" out of me. FML

by PheobeBuffay / 12/11/2015 at 1:14pm / Norway (Vestfold) / Love

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

by Anonymous / 10/18/2015 at 10:23am / United States (Arkansas) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend was putting baby powder on my bare ass, when his dad walked into the room, casually set a laundry basket next to the bed, and walked out like nothing happened. FML

by ManderDander / 09/05/2015 at 2:48pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

by BrandonDrapeau / 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm / United States (Nevada) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

by stillhungry / 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2015 at 12:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

by Arcanin3Boss / 06/23/2015 at 2:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

by shmarf / 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

by Bigbaby / 06/11/2015 at 6:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

by Hey_Buddy_ / 06/10/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

by Anonymous / 06/04/2015 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

by seethroughpee / 05/06/2015 at 1:22am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids