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Calingaladha

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Calingaladha

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 March 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 953
  • Number of comments : 331
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About Calingaladha : This is stuff about me. Eventually. Maybe.

Calingaladha's page activity

Visits<b>user716</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 8:22pm<b>walleye9171</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:14pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 8:37pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 7:20am<b>RandomPersonOk</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 5:11pm<b>ProfessorMctitie</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:36pm<b>paige_xud</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 3:45pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:45pm<b>tpagacz</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:18pm<b>chrisann1023</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 12:09pm<b>Catdragon</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 8:34pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 8:41am<b>Sophiopath</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:10am<b>lilly_petten21</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 9:23am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 11:58pm<b>KristaAaronn</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 10:04pm<b>peanutbrat</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 2:16am<b>ASeeR</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:24am

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 2:41pm<b>lilly_petten21</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:36pm<b>Vidrill</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 6:12pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:48pm

Calingaladha's FML badges

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.

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Calingaladha's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son about wet dreams, what they are and how they are normal. Afterwards, he exclaimed, "It's kinda like when I beat off, except I'm asleep! Awesome!" FML

#21451089
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/02/2015 at 10:57pm - kids - by BrandonDrapeau - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally finished downloading a 60GB TV series after two weeks of waiting. Every single "episode" turned out to be Rick Astley singing Never Gonna Give You Up, on constant repeat. I almost respect the prankster's effort enough to not want to gut him like a fish. Almost. FML

#21439737
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28106) - you deserved it (7721)

On 07/10/2015 at 8:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26000) - you deserved it (3364)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, my husband ruined the laundry once again. He forgot to empty his pants pockets before washing them. Last time he left an ink pen in them. This time it was a strawberry. FML

#21432612
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (2159)

On 06/27/2015 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to eat dinner with his parents. Everyone wanted me to start the family prayer, and although I hadn't done one in years, I accepted. It went well until I remembered you say "Amen" at the end, not "Uh... Bye." FML

#21430513
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25142) - you deserved it (5504)

On 06/23/2015 at 2:37am - misc - by Arcanin3Boss (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30150) - you deserved it (12396)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I decided to be the "cool aunt" and take my nephew to a horror movie. I ended up being so scared, I burst into tears. Nothing says "cool" like having an 11-year-old walk a sobbing, grown woman from a theatre. FML

#21424629
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20999) - you deserved it (11136)

On 06/11/2015 at 6:29pm - misc - by Bigbaby - United States (California)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30543) - you deserved it (3326)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa told me he was going to be eating out tonight, and I asked at which restaurant. He replied "Your gran's room." and winked. I didn't need that mental image, at all. FML

#21409445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31188) - you deserved it (2910)

On 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 6-year-old daughter barged into the bathroom while I was peeing, inspected the toilet and said, "You're well hydrated, good job." FML

#21405462
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (3710)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:22am - kids - by seethroughpee - Canada (Alberta)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28305) - you deserved it (4017) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26960) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML

#21304749
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31133) - you deserved it (2991)

On 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm - work - by StomachofTinfoil (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML

#21294686
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17089) - you deserved it (30861)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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