Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Cali_Italian

Search for a member

Cali_Italian

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 224
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

Cali_Italian's page activity

Visits<b>Thedmorgan</b> - the 12/22/2013 at 10:26am<b>33Got_Game</b> - the 06/28/2013 at 4:34pm<b>jfb420</b> - the 02/14/2013 at 4:11pm

Cali_Italian's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of Cali_Italian's badges

Cali_Italian's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad told me I was folding my laundry all wrong. I said with a smirk, "A little clothes-minded, are we?" He slapped me. Hard. FML

#20865687
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49581) - you deserved it (10687)

On 09/03/2013 at 2:31am - misc - by fml (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that I am such a Grammar Nazi that when a porn star says something grammatically-incorrect, I lose my boner. FML

#20766909
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47441) - you deserved it (19023)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by BlueB (man) - United States

Today, I was teasing my 6-year-old sister about having a boyfriend. I asked her, "Did he take his shirt off?" She promptly said no. A few minutes later, she said, "But he did take his pants off." I then asked why. She said, "To show me his penis." FML

#20743211
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53566) - you deserved it (7871)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:36pm - kids - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23793) - you deserved it (8067)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to church for the first time in my life. They had a Jesus statue at the altar, and I noticed he was surprisingly muscular. Ten minutes later, I had to excuse myself, after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus. FML

#20432015
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10197) - you deserved it (34589)

On 12/30/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by Weirdo (woman) - United States

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24586) - you deserved it (2290)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off, and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML

Today, I was so lonely that I had a 3 hour conversation with a one-legged cricket I found in my room. I'm keeping him. He has a name. FML

#13696157
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32098) - you deserved it (10782)

On 11/03/2010 at 12:39am - misc - by nk (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML

#11923673
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32861) - you deserved it (16841)

On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: