laughing about other peoples fucked up lives is interesting.
Today, the guy I'd been talking to online and liked came to my house party with a bunch of mutual friends. He spent the night sitting in the corner on the sofa talking to my cat. I woke up later to see that not only had he crashed for the night, but he'd curled up in the dog basket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17555) - you totally deserved it (5878)
On 10/09/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Today, I was pretending to be a monkey for a "documentary". The branch snapped and I fell out of the tree and onto a car roof. It was after school, I fell onto the dean's BMW. The video was on facebook before I regained consciousness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you totally deserved it (6208)
On 10/09/2009 at 10:04am - misc - by jane (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4118) - you totally deserved it (26220)
On 10/09/2009 at 3:09am - work - by whitedevil (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38728) - you totally deserved it (6258)
On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I wanted to make love with my boyfriend for the first time. I wanted everything to be perfect. The CD kept skipping, the rose petals had ants all over them, and he couldn't get it up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35741) - you totally deserved it (8114)
On 09/02/2009 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30911) - you totally deserved it (1327)
On 09/01/2009 at 8:04pm - health - by Misterhippo (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7633) - you totally deserved it (25680)
On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (40219) - you totally deserved it (9034)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you totally deserved it (7241)
On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36763) - you totally deserved it (8429)
On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, my girlfriend sent me a naked picture of herself and I wish she hadn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19995) - you totally deserved it (47592)
On 06/16/2009 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by MisterSeth (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10253) - you totally deserved it (35349)
On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)
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