Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CHOMP3R

Search for a member

CHOMP3R
  • Town/Country : Brier, Washington
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 November 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 432
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About CHOMP3R : I'm alternative.(;
They call me CHOMP3R cuz I like to bite.(:
I like writing poetry, and listening to music is my passion. I love artists from a variety of genres. My favorites are Eminem, Broken Iris, Avenged Sevenfold, Evanescence, Three Days Grace, Owl City, Flux Pavillion, Skrillex, Christina Perri, Story of the Year, and others.(:
I have an amazing boyfriend, who I love more than anything.(:

CHOMP3R's last visitors

NooblahgiantskyleEdogg215badmandilonsCrEaMiNgToAsTPowerFttr125sexybloodywolf21

CHOMP3R's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CHOMP3R's favorite FMLs

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

#18350847
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6923) - you deserved it (56038)

On 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27511) - you deserved it (6037)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

#18251877
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15768) - you deserved it (7319)

On 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm - animals - by MY CAR (man) - United States (California)

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

#18244080
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (2448)

On 11/14/2011 at 3:45am - work - by Anon - United States (Nevada)

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

#18112620
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22571) - you deserved it (15019)

On 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm - misc - by yum yogurt - United States (Kentucky)

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

#18079662
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21299) - you deserved it (43096)

On 10/26/2011 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

#17233165
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39295) - you deserved it (5244) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm - love - by mathii - Sent from mobile version

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

#15209199
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51255) - you deserved it (2928)

On 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm - misc - by poked - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

#14412798
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm - misc - by ilik3catz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

#13645625
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18677) - you deserved it (32926)

On 10/30/2010 at 1:41am - love - by Samantha - United States (Washington)

Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

#8905388
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22775) - you deserved it (1908)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm - misc - by leenibeani4 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

#8769205
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16944) - you deserved it (3047)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:38am - intimacy - by virginmary - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14671) - you deserved it (4006)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML

#7640098
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8101) - you deserved it (21085)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:43am - misc - by Daivv (man) - United Kingdom (Somerset)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: