CHOMP3R

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CHOMP3R

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 29 November 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 942
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About CHOMP3R : I'm alternative.(;
They call me CHOMP3R cuz I like to bite.(:
I like writing poetry, and listening to music is my passion. I love artists from a variety of genres. My favorites are Eminem, Broken Iris, Avenged Sevenfold, Evanescence, Three Days Grace, Owl City, Flux Pavillion, Skrillex, Christina Perri, Story of the Year, and others.(:
I have an amazing boyfriend, who I love more than anything.(:

CHOMP3R's page activity

Visits<b>gorgonkiller15</b> - the 08/11/2016 at 9:53pm<b>TheDarkLight</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 7:31pm<b>dno79</b> - the 07/03/2016 at 4:41am<b>Shadow9876</b> - the 03/01/2016 at 1:46am<b>EPKSPARTAN</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:23am<b>star97</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 7:12am<b>thealebalmaceda</b> - the 01/19/2015 at 5:45am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 11:08am<b>abattior</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 9:48pm<b>phuck19</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 2:13pm<b>martini47</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:41pm<b>ZomboticKitteh</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 12:37am<b>agent4442</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 10:47pm<b>RadikulRam</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 9:21pm<b>Nooblah</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 4:37pm<b>FunkMasta</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 1:26pm<b>giantskyle</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 5:58pm<b>badmandilon</b> - the 09/27/2013 at 12:36am

CHOMP3R's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CHOMP3R's favorite FMLs

Today, after I went to collect my pay for babysitting, the girl's dad pulled the old "Can I pay you in Trident Layers?" bull on me. Hoping to show that I wasn't going to play ball, I told him that watching his gran inhale a cock would be funnier. If scowls could kill... FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2011 at 9:09pm / United States (Nevada) / Money

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

by G. Briones / 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm / Kids

Today, an asshat in a Foghorn Leghorn t-shirt let his piece-of-crap mongrel dog do some sort of rain dance on the roof of my car, scratching the paintwork. He was a huge guy, so my backbone left town and I just smiled as if it was cute. FML

by MY CAR / 11/14/2011 at 11:51pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I carpooled with my co-worker whose girlfriend has left him. The radio was playing the song "Jar of Hearts." He then began to sing intensely, and broke down crying. FML

by Anon / 11/14/2011 at 3:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, I bought weed for the first time. The dealer was an undercover cop. FML

by honeybadger123 / 11/13/2011 at 8:11pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I punched myself in the face while trying to eat a GoGurt. FML

by yum yogurt / 10/30/2011 at 4:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 10:14am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was doing swimming practice at the pool. I suddenly got breathless, dizzy, and felt like I was drowning. I cried out to the instructor, telling him I had a weak heart. He shouted back, "I don't care about your girlfriend's problems! Swim, bitch!" FML

by mathii / 07/23/2011 at 7:52pm / Love

Today, my father who left my family over 10 years ago and never contacted us or paid child support, poked me on Facebook. FML

by poked / 03/05/2011 at 7:24pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

by Samantha / 10/30/2010 at 1:41am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, at the eye doctor, they asked for my birth date for the files. My dad answered quickly, "May 28, 1994." It was embarrassing to have to correct him with "April 19, 1993." Who's May 28? Way to go dad. FML

by leenibeani4 / 03/07/2010 at 10:12pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out like a sixteen year old at the high school prom with this guy I kinda liked. All of a sudden, he rolls away and tells me he's "finished." We both had our clothes on the entire time. He is 23, I'm 25. I didn't know that was possible. FML

by virginmary / 03/02/2010 at 7:38am / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

by syl / 02/11/2010 at 1:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that shouting 'arsehole' at a speeding car is not a good idea. Two chavs MIGHT just turn around, drive onto the pavement and push you into a bush. FML

by Daivv / 01/28/2010 at 10:43am / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Transportation