About CFR : I like coffee, music, horror movies, and reading. blah blah blah.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54699) - you deserved it (12530)
On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6985) - you deserved it (45171)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I went to a concert. Knowing these concerts usually include a lot of black lights, I decided to wear a black T-shirt so I wouldn't glow. I was having a good time, but about halfway through I noticed someone pointing to my shoulder. I looked down to see my dandruff glowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (12228)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:29am - misc - by Raaar (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, on a plane I was showing my brother the life jackets kept under the seat. After pulling on what I thought was the lifejacket, I then realized that they were kept in the arm rest to my right and for the last five minutes I had been pulling on the foot of the man who was sitting behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7213) - you deserved it (31444)
On 08/26/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was flirting with this guy that had been forced to be my lab partner for class. He was really funny and attractive, too. In the middle of our conversation he said "You're so cute! You remind me of my boyfriend!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35508) - you deserved it (6120)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:27pm - love - by NotCuteEnough (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mother and father are insisting that I go on a date with a German exchange student they met on the weekend. Why? Because we have similar glasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26956) - you deserved it (2643)
On 08/23/2009 at 9:29am - love - by Foureyes (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40255) - you deserved it (123740)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (93913) - you deserved it (6048)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9705) - you deserved it (57365)
On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37178) - you deserved it (5307)
On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on his couch when suddenly I tried to get up. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (92316) - you deserved it (27502)
On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - love - by treegirl (woman) - United States
Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (5264)
On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11312) - you deserved it (35438)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31949) - you deserved it (4362)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML
I agree, your life sucks (10421) - you deserved it (55192)
On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Monday 17 June 2013
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