Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

CFR

Search for a member

CFR

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 29 September 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5244
  • Number of comments : 444
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About CFR : I like coffee, music, horror movies, and reading. blah blah blah.

CFR's page activity

Visits<b>HedgeOfTheHogs</b> - yesterday at 1:33pm<b>michaelquesnel10</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 11:44pm<b>immaloser95</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:13am<b>codytallica</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 8:42pm<b>jessamaryann</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 1:24am<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 2:02am<b>madisonrianne</b> - the 03/13/2015 at 10:31am<b>jamescrazy96</b> - the 03/09/2015 at 8:23pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 2:41pm<b>dreadlocmask</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 12:16pm<b>sseide2</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 11:00pm<b>loche123</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 9:03am<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 4:34pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 9:17am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 9:44pm<b>jshakd642</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 5:40pm<b>FoxHunt9119</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 8:37pm<b>baxeh</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 7:27am

CFR's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CFR's favorite FMLs

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15824) - you deserved it (37896)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14998) - you deserved it (40082)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38043) - you deserved it (2236)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML

#5412403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9860) - you deserved it (47729)

On 09/22/2009 at 10:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 mins, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said "So do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray everynight that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

#5364824
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35580) - you deserved it (3728)

On 09/20/2009 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I must find a gentle way to tell my 71-year-old mother that she's too old to be wearing shirts that expose her belly. FML

#5359755
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39381) - you deserved it (2757)

On 09/19/2009 at 9:22pm - misc - by elmalo68 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my mom about the couple times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

#5343889
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34930) - you deserved it (5799)

On 09/19/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by 1357katie (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my 5 year-old son to the barber shop. When the man finishes with him, I tell the guy, "while we're here, I might as well get a trim too." My son then exclaims very loudly in front of a very full barber's shop, "Dad! You don't need a haircut, you need hair!" FML

#5327120
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (6022)

On 09/18/2009 at 2:17am - kids - by ben (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
375 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23514) - you deserved it (79994)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40113) - you deserved it (3414)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a stop light when I saw a cute police officer at the light across the intersection. Trying to be cute as I drove by, I turned and winked and waved. The car in front of me stopped, I rear ended them and then got rear ended. The cute cop winked back, then wrote me a ticket. FML

#5294180
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7134) - you deserved it (51756)

On 09/16/2009 at 4:08pm - misc - by Jennnn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was called by my son's school. They said he'd been forging my signature and comments in his reading book. He didn't forge them. I don't know what's worse: my handwriting looking like a 6 year old's, or being too cowardly to admit it. He has a week of lunch detention, but I still have my dignity. FML

#5291551
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9129) - you deserved it (104537)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:05pm - kids - by Mac - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML

#5288482
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35887) - you deserved it (19597)

On 09/16/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by BluesMan1990 (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my friend and I were at the mall and saw a "Grow Your Own Boyfriend" toy. I remarked that I already had one of those, and she freaked out, very loudly and openly, about me "finally having a boyfriend". I had to embarrassingly explain I meant I had the toy... not an actual boyfriend. FML

#5235407
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31571) - you deserved it (5681)

On 09/13/2009 at 7:10pm - love - by CaeliLady (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went to visit my parents. Dad went on a religious tirade, and Mum got sick of him and pelted a Brazil nut at his head. Dad then lost his shit, and told Mum to go to her room and pray. I now remember why I moved out of home in the first place. FML

#5225291
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (3061)

On 09/13/2009 at 8:42am - misc - by Sigh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: