[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

CFR

Search for a member

CFR
  • Town/Country : Edmonton, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 September 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 2465
  • Number of comments : 444
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About CFR : I like coffee, music, horror movies, and reading. blah blah blah.

CFR's last visitors

o0artisha0odisclaimertoselfBobissmallmandaboodeputy_gObWanCanBlowMEMatt_192

CFR's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

CFR's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML

#6533285 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (36038) - you deserved it (2054)

On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

#6365163 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (3556) - you deserved it (28142)

On 11/19/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by Cellphonetroubles - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (13084) - you deserved it (8399)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

#6134962 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (35884) - you deserved it (3027)

On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

#6082159 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (3608) - you deserved it (30710)

On 10/31/2009 at 10:30am - health - by alcoholic (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML

#5978415 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (26053) - you deserved it (9893)

On 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by fmlifetime (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was sitting in my bed drinking Yoohoo from a juice box. I decided it would be fun to see how much I could fit in my mouth. As soon as my mouth was full, I sneezed. FML

#5948720 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (5802) - you deserved it (24575)

On 10/22/2009 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my cat managed to lock my dad and me outside of our house. FML

#5937584 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (22292) - you deserved it (4661)

On 10/21/2009 at 10:58pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (5341) - you deserved it (40641)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

#5811871 (363)

I agree, your life sucks (5380) - you deserved it (69149)

On 10/13/2009 at 2:54am - love - by PanFace (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

#5664241 (175)

I agree, your life sucks (28140) - you deserved it (4131)

On 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

#5636942 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (8466) - you deserved it (28611)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was dining out with some friends when a hot guy on the table next to us smiled at me. Flattered, I smiled back at him several times. On his way out, he laid a napkin with his number at my table. I didn't notice, too busy looking at the yellow dress and the pink pumps he was wearing. FML

#5627232 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (4397)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:49pm - love - by badatgenders (woman) - Norway (Nord-Trondelag)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my daughter how her eyes look exactly as pretty as my wife's. She told me that she loved the way my eyeballs stick out of my face, just like Elmo. FML

#5618534 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (2963)

On 10/03/2009 at 8:33am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, my daughter learned how to write her name correctly for the first time. Only thing is, she decided to practise writing it all over my body with a sharpie while I was sleeping. Works starts in 30 minutes. FML

#5602115 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (22714) - you deserved it (2960)

On 10/02/2009 at 9:39am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore