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Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (2958)
On 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by superconfused16 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26734) - you deserved it (14932)
On 08/18/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Photagrapher - Sent from mobile version
Today, my best friend thought it would look cool if I recorded her swinging while lying under the swing. She ended up kicking me in the face and laughing so hard she pissed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (14115)
On 08/14/2010 at 4:43pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I ordered pizza and watched a movie. After dinner we started to make out. I began to take my clothes off when he stopped me. He said that sex is exercise and you can't exercise for 30 minutes after eating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28753) - you deserved it (5839)
On 08/11/2010 at 9:54pm - intimacy - by oumalina (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mom was taking an online IQ test. To the question "On which continent is Canada located?" she responded "Antarctica." If intelligence is genetic, I'm screwed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25182) - you deserved it (2330)
On 08/10/2010 at 7:19pm - misc - by Brandon (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20304) - you deserved it (13359)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (12623)
On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34361) - you deserved it (2990)
On 08/05/2010 at 2:24pm - love - by kiki - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31614) - you deserved it (7954)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, I got a speeding ticket. I wrote a check, and on the way to deposit my fine, I got another one. I put both fines in a box down town, and I turned around to see a cop putting a parking ticket under my wind-shield wiper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16034) - you deserved it (32109)
On 07/13/2010 at 7:15pm - misc - by Criminal (man) - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I drew a face on a balloon and pretended to make out with it. The balloon popped and shot to the back of my throat, where it got caught. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9555) - you deserved it (50874)
On 07/12/2010 at 3:42pm - health - by jazthefish (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (208128) - you deserved it (10118)
On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527608) - you deserved it (320053)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (991717) - you deserved it (78946)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (991717) - you deserved it (78946)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
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