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Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She is claiming rape and going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32684) - you deserved it (2543)
On 10/18/2010 at 8:03am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I told my dad that I had a herpes infection. He said "Good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12032) - you deserved it (24094)
On 10/18/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (28880) - you deserved it (16269)
On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)
Today, I tried to put my friend's hand in lukewarm water while he was sleeping, to see if he'd pee himself. He woke up and punched me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4141) - you deserved it (45291)
On 10/12/2010 at 10:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my cousin and his fiancée took me to my first strip club experience. One of the strippers came over and danced for me. She pulled her thong string out and I tried to place the dollar in it with my mouth. I missed, to which she said "Put it in there, retard." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6957) - you deserved it (20635)
On 10/07/2010 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was working on my family genealogy. I found out that my best friend's great-grandfather murdered my great-grandfather. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31415) - you deserved it (3044)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:32am - misc - by cantstoplaughing (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finally had the confidence to show my girlfriend my hairy chest/stomach. I'm very self conscious about it, and get embarrassed easily. She said I looked disgusting, called me Chewbacca and broke up with me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34874) - you deserved it (5095)
On 09/26/2010 at 5:26am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam (Ha Noi)
Today, I was in a hurry trying to get into my locker, but it stuck. After a few frustrating attempts, I finally managed to get it open. In anger, I threw the door open, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. My natural reflex was to jerk forward, giving myself a black eye from the hook inside. I got in a fight with my locker and lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15714) - you deserved it (9082)
On 09/16/2010 at 4:06pm - misc - by locker (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20353) - you deserved it (2100)
On 09/15/2010 at 12:15am - love - by badtiming (woman) - United States
Today, a grasshopper jumped into my car. As my boyfriend swiped at it, the grasshopper jumped onto my chest and into my shirt. Instead of helping me get it out, my boyfriend leaned back and said, "It got to second base faster than I did." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20786) - you deserved it (7503)
On 09/14/2010 at 3:27am - love - by tickyette (woman) - United States
Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24815) - you deserved it (21136)
On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29471) - you deserved it (4539)
On 09/12/2010 at 10:02am - love - by mrsfantastic - United Kingdom
Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (6130)
On 09/04/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by ow (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was walking with the dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling another friend came by, and we went talking for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone in the water instead of his stick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (26784)
On 08/26/2010 at 9:27am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38261) - you deserved it (10979)
On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)
Monday 20 May 2013
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