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Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4278) - you deserved it (57269)
On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18841) - you deserved it (10826)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20322) - you deserved it (2068)
On 06/24/2012 at 8:28pm - intimacy - by Addison - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6805) - you deserved it (31852)
On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17299) - you deserved it (1073)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my husband put some photos of our wedding on Facebook. He named the album "FML". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24000) - you deserved it (2274)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:17am - misc - by blah56 - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9141) - you deserved it (15673)
On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (6167)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)
Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (2402)
On 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by phonnah - United States (Maryland)
Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (2039)
On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)
Today, I had my blood drawn for a lab test. I was then given a container so I could give a urine sample. In the middle of peeing, I got woozy, started blacking out, and hit my head against the wall. A nurse discovered me with my pants down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (1261)
On 06/18/2012 at 12:05pm - health - by nerdsgetmehot (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23066) - you deserved it (2056)
On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States
Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21559) - you deserved it (1297)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (18931)
On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States
Today, my best friend and I broke up with our respective girlfriends, so we could go on holiday and meet lots of new women. Instead, within a few hours, he got back with his ex, and they're planning their own holiday together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5223) - you deserved it (38307)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:08pm - love - by JPTK (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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