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Today, I went for a really important job interview. She loved my portfolio and we got along really well. But I guess that a corner of my skirt got caught underneath my shoe when I stood up to shake her hand, exposing my teenytiny underwear and neglected bikini line. She didnt shake my hand back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28902) - you totally deserved it (5486)
On 06/18/2009 at 5:01am - work - by ChrissiOfTheHill (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you totally deserved it (13039)
On 06/05/2009 at 1:03am - health - by NoPainNoGain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I got an "Enlarge your penis" email for the millionth time. I was about to dismiss it when I saw the FW: from my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (65484) - you totally deserved it (4370)
On 06/02/2009 at 8:19am - intimacy - by Ariel (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)
Today, I saw the following message on my Facebook News Feed: "Morning Sex: [My mom] and [My dad] are fans. Click here to Join" FML
I agree, your life sucks (60058) - you totally deserved it (3286)
On 06/01/2009 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by crazystuff23 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I won $200 a contest at a bar. The manager took me to a vault where money collected from the strippers go into a pool. He told me that at least half of the bills were slid through a strippers butt crack so I was to "choose wisely". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30648) - you totally deserved it (5290)
On 05/30/2009 at 7:39am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until my school loans come through. For a transaction description, he wrote "to get back in that pussy game." It got red flagged, and I had to talk with three female customer service agents before it went through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you totally deserved it (2292)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:15am - money - by Jordan (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I flew from New York to San Fransisco with my wife. We were seated apart and were texting each other about our seatmates in Spanish. I told her the ass of the woman next to me was oozing under the armrest and making my leg sweat. The oozer told me that lots of fat asses can read Spanish. 6 hours to SF. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9030) - you totally deserved it (45418)
On 05/22/2009 at 11:17am - misc - by mecago (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was sitting at my college campus, there were good looking girls all around me and I was trying to catch their eye and smile, letting them know I'm available. A butterfly flew by me and I screamed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9226) - you totally deserved it (35060)
On 05/20/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
I agree, your life sucks (43789) - you totally deserved it (1741)
On 05/20/2009 at 4:49pm - misc - by lm (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I decided to finaly use the gym membership I got a few weeks ago. After I returned to the locker room, the locker I used was opened with all my stuff, including my iTouch, cell phone, and my wallet with cash stolen. It turns out I left the sticker that tells you your combo on my new lock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9858) - you totally deserved it (46446)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:54pm - misc - by Sweeney (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, me and my girlfriend were buying Subway. When it came to ring up the order the lady asked us together or separate? My girlfriend looked and said separate. Half-jokingly, I asked if it was some sort of hint? She looked at me and said yes. I got broken up over a 12 inch Ham Sub. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42895) - you totally deserved it (2246)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:37am - love - by Richie (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (87911) - you totally deserved it (18897)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38600) - you totally deserved it (4869)
On 05/17/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I realised that my glade plug-in air freshner lasts longer than any of my relationships have. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34215) - you totally deserved it (5843)
On 05/15/2009 at 2:14am - love - by heartless (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my best friend got a new boyfriend. She asked him what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, and he said he just wanted to hang out with her and watch a movie or two. I thought it was sweet, so I asked my boyfriend what he would like for his upcoming birthday. He said a blow job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16368) - you totally deserved it (28113)
On 05/15/2009 at 1:44am - love - by badboyfriends (woman) - United States (California)
