About BumtheGreat : Wassup stalkers! a quick bio... I'm 18, love to make people that deserve it mad, I prefer the old FML, where people commented off the top comment to be cool, and we would actually argue without being deleted. Well if you need to know more, send me a message ya?
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (6058)
On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36062) - you deserved it (1543)
On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I went on a date with a very cute girl. It went well, until I accidentally called the blueberries in her dessert Oran Berries. I sheepishly explained that they're a berry from the Pokémon universe, at which point she excused herself, never to return. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18317) - you deserved it (30228)
On 02/02/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by Brock (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, while I was at a urinal, a man came up to use the one next to me. He then said, "I guess this is where all the dicks hang out." He then stared at me until I left. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14670) - you deserved it (970)
On 12/03/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by reedcarter -
Today, after having finally kicked my insomnia's ass after three hours, I was woken up by something I only thought happened in movies. Someone had paid for a Mariachi band to play for their girlfriend, outside my apartment, in the middle of the night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17220) - you deserved it (1002)
On 11/23/2012 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23413) - you deserved it (2527)
On 09/19/2012 at 10:54am - misc - by LawStudent (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17300) - you deserved it (1074)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16307) - you deserved it (1979)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10320) - you deserved it (16446)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8439) - you deserved it (21832)
On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States
Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13439) - you deserved it (3345)
On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was stopped and searched by a cop, and he quickly found the bag of weed in my pocket. He didn't arrest or fine me, but he did confiscate my weed and told me to "get lost." Pretty sure I just got legally mugged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10483) - you deserved it (25099)
On 04/11/2012 at 12:25pm - misc - by erockinthesuburb (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27907) - you deserved it (5316)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by 14YearOld (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
