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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39767) - you deserved it (2077)
On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (46617)
On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was pretending to use the force to operate the elevator at my hotel, getting really into it. Someone was waiting to get on at my floor and saw me. Not to mention the staff now brings it up every time I'm around. Apparently they have cameras in their elevators. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (34273)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:16pm - misc - by beckzx58 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peak at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5942) - you deserved it (60040)
On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was eating dinner with my family. My parents didn't want me to hear what they were talking about so they decided they would spell out the words so I wouldn't understand. I didn't. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10104) - you deserved it (41058)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11480) - you deserved it (37562)
On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that I was held back in preschool because of some developmental issues. My parents didn't think it was important enough to mention it to me. Why hadn't I figured it out? They also lied to me about how old I was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59483) - you deserved it (2972)
On 08/03/2009 at 2:31am - misc - by dumb (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9988) - you deserved it (87986)
On 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm - misc - by jeeperspeepers (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54787) - you deserved it (5426)
On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (54687) - you deserved it (11468)
On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (12167)
On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13230) - you deserved it (35859)
On 07/29/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Nikse (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44890) - you deserved it (1854)
On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43731) - you deserved it (6254)
On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad somehow found some pictures of my boyfriend having sex with some girl and went on a rampage about how pissed he was that he was cheating on me. I had to explain to my parents that I was the girl in the pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38424) - you deserved it (13329)
On 07/26/2009 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by omgwtfsam (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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