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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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BuMbLeBeE_46

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BuMbLeBeE_46
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 786
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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BuMbLeBeE_46's favorite FMLs

Today, while my girlfriend and I were getting it on, she suddenly stopped and yelled "STOP!". I stopped, scared I'd hurt her. She then yelled "HAMMER TIME!" and started to dance. We never finished. FML

#5286193 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (19313) - you deserved it (3441)

On 09/16/2009 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went to the movies with the girl I liked. She kept on eating my popcorn so I whispered in her ear "Pretty soon your going to have to repay me with kisses." Then she looked at me and walked out the theatre. She came back with a bucket of popcorn and said "Here, you're repaid." FML

#4925971 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (26113) - you deserved it (28276)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:19am - love - by regected (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML

#4877720 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (7309)

On 08/28/2009 at 3:51am - misc - by pistonchamp159 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML

#4779323 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (12185)

On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I ended up gashing my leg rather badly on the corner of a chair, fell to the ground with a very loud thud, and yelled "OH F*CK ME!!". I hobbled to the bathroom making more noise in the process. My neighbor came by and asked if I could "keep my sex noise to a minimum". FML

#4777609 (68)

I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (5182)

On 08/24/2009 at 3:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after my partner of two years broke up with me, I decided to have a heart to heart with my mother about it. Her advice was to clean the house. I asked how that would make me feel better. She said that she wasn't sure, but at least the house would be clean. FML

#4744238 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (19103) - you deserved it (2871)

On 08/22/2009 at 8:43pm - love - by Loveless (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, it was my first day of school as a freshman. I soon became lost and decided to ask a senior for directions to my class. They smiled at me and said "It's on the third floor to the right." After ten minutes of walking up and down stairs and hallways, I discovered there is no third floor. FML

#4690268 (286)

I agree, your life sucks (20243) - you deserved it (13840)

On 08/20/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

#4609824 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (8368) - you deserved it (53073)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I slept in late and when I woke up, thought I was the only one in the house so I decided to walk around the corner to the only upstairs bathroom naked. My dad also slept in, also thought he was the only one in the house, and also decided to walk to the bathroom naked. We collided. FML

#4596913 (200)

I agree, your life sucks (50102) - you deserved it (9423)

On 08/17/2009 at 9:50am - misc - by malebonding (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I literally stopped traffic. I was crossing the street and a butterfly landed on me. Being phobic of butterflies, I had a panic attack in the middle of the road. Oh, and I am 17, captain of our football team, and in very good shape. My girlfriend laughed the hardest. FML

#4525487 (287)

I agree, your life sucks (31832) - you deserved it (15668)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:10pm - animals - by Butterflyguy (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (47872) - you deserved it (5206)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (36852) - you deserved it (8743)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I told my friend how I liked this girl but was too scared to ask her out. He told me "Why? The worst she's going to do is say no." Building confidence I approached her and asked her on a date. Then she replied "Get away douchebag!" and kicked me in the nuts. FML

#4423387 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (46235) - you deserved it (3150)

On 08/10/2009 at 5:20am - love - by Rejected (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (59777) - you deserved it (4655)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while in the shower, my roomates thought it would be really funny if they threw my cat in with me. The doctor who gave me the stitches also thought so. FML

#4380799 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (37562) - you deserved it (1639)

On 08/08/2009 at 5:35am - animals - by N1ch0la1 (man) - South Africa (Western Cape)