Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

BrokenDreamer24

Offline (4 hours ago) | Search for a member

BrokenDreamer24

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 24 December 1992 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7881
  • Number of comments : 86
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About BrokenDreamer24 : I am an twenty-one year old bitch who most say is wiser than her years. I hate n00bs who talk in a texting format to look cool. Example: Tlkin lke dis is nt kool. Fucking retards.
Everyone has grammar problems, but seriously, edit before you submit, please.

BrokenDreamer24's page activity

Visits<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:36am<b>curticus</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 8:18am<b>alissa412</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 10:58am<b>TumblrAndStuff</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 10:54pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 2:12am<b>bmmondi95</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:43pm<b>supernatural_doc</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 7:49pm<b>mazinger_Z</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:57am<b>Anaphylaxis</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 3:50am<b>Clutz97</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 6:56am<b>Jarl_the_Elite</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 6:18pm<b>d3mons1ay3r</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 9:32am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:33am<b>Lotiel</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 8:16pm<b>syki</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 9:50am<b>NSKFML</b> - the 04/13/2014 at 7:06pm<b>Burton_Forever</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 7:53pm<b>RabbidIbanez</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 4:58pm

BrokenDreamer24's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of BrokenDreamer24's badges

BrokenDreamer24's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister was in charge of doing the vacuuming, when she decided our hamster had "dust on his back". FML

#21134608
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40690) - you deserved it (3500) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/08/2014 at 4:48pm - animals - by gvmfvr - Sent from mobile version

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37721) - you deserved it (20043)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML

#21133668
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59738) - you deserved it (13555)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

#21119041
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49687) - you deserved it (13814)

On 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by sexual parrot -

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40389) - you deserved it (7943)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my coworker tried to convince my boss that I'm not human. Her examples of how I'm influenced by demons included how I don't wear a jacket in the winter, and that I once got a nosebleed from sneezing. My boss thinks she's hilarious and is playing along. FML

#21111822
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38976) - you deserved it (3822)

On 04/13/2014 at 10:51am - work - by worker666 (woman) - United States

Today, I was given a call home, a 3-day-suspension, and a week of detention in school for a "serious violation of the code of conduct." Said violation? Jogging in the middle of the hall. FML

#21107042
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37749) - you deserved it (4182)

On 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

#21104650
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38910) - you deserved it (11661)

On 04/04/2014 at 7:20pm - love - by ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38057) - you deserved it (3099)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

#21104415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32495) - you deserved it (17964)

On 04/04/2014 at 1:26pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Dominican Republic (Distrito Nacional)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37032) - you deserved it (4729)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the girl I've been dating dumped me after she found out I'm originally from Alabama. Apparently she doesn't want to date someone from a "foreign country". We both live in Michigan. FML

#21098622
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40148) - you deserved it (3730)

On 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I am most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

#21096727
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37345) - you deserved it (5019)

On 03/26/2014 at 4:45am - animals - by Punphmelch (woman) - Australia (South Australia)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: