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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 December 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1362
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Broc831 : 18 going to college woot woot

Broc831's page activity

Visits<b>jbuckets_404</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 6:28am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:17am<b>sherry_berryxoxo</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 3:29pm<b>abattior</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 2:59am<b>urbantrashcan</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:00pm<b>stevothedevo</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 12:39pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 09/21/2013 at 11:21am<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 08/31/2013 at 11:21am<b>shaar</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 6:02am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/22/2013 at 7:08am<b>buckdharma</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 5:16pm<b>Greenfaucet</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 7:53pm<b>jtthegr8</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 5:30am<b>Egiskard</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 12:23am<b>Alonzo_5841</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 1:31pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 9:56pm<b>dinosxxrawr</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 8:22pm<b>shoopd</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 6:05am

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Broc831's favorite FMLs

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as I was enjoying a nice fish salad, my father looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Ahh, salmon. The 'other' pink meat", then winked suggestively at my mother. I don't think I can ever eat fish again. FML

by ugh / 07/04/2013 at 2:28pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Intimacy

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat and hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm / United States (Nevada) / Health

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML

by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

by bestiality, not even once / 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy

Today, my history teacher confiscated my iPhone. She dropped it on the way back to her desk, and I now have a shattered iPhone screen to fix. FML

by sad face / 03/07/2012 at 2:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

by Silver_Samurai / 02/08/2012 at 10:24pm / Netherlands / Work

Today, at school, I was crying because someone I knew had died. My teacher pulled me aside and said, "I understand you're socially awkward, but don't worry it gets better." FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML

by anna / 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, as part of my job as a performer, I had to show off my skills with a switchblade in front of an audience. A kid shot a rubber band at me. I then needed stitches. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2011 at 9:00am / Malaysia / Work

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2011 at 6:54am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy