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Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend, when she reached over and twisted my nipples to the point of tears. I'm still not sure what in the name of Dawkins I did to deserve that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28855) - you deserved it (11804)
On 04/12/2013 at 7:57pm - misc - by SoreNips (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML
I agree, your life sucks (41794) - you deserved it (4778)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38519) - you deserved it (3423)
On 04/12/2013 at 5:24am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I had a job interview. Everything was going well until I noticed a picture of a dog hanging on the wall, which reminded me of the ending of Marley and Me. I started crying and had to be escorted out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17479) - you deserved it (37411)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:58am - misc - by crybaby (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54980) - you deserved it (3079)
On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (4440)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:59pm - animals - by anyonmus - United States (Maryland)
Today, my Romeo and Juliet style relationship hit an all time low when my boyfriend's parents filed a lawsuit against my parents. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38146) - you deserved it (3417)
On 04/11/2013 at 8:40pm - love - by Juliet (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50912) - you deserved it (3424)
On 04/11/2013 at 4:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)
Today, my racist, homophobic, generally degenerate grandmother visited. Within 20 minutes, she uttered multiple racial slurs, said Robert Downey Jr. will burn in hell for playing a black man in one of his movies, and yelled that she'd "whip the piss" out of me, after I asked her to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29848) - you deserved it (2858)
On 04/11/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by no tea parties here, gran (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (5213)
On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38774) - you deserved it (4148)
On 04/11/2013 at 5:11am - misc - by zahra_786 (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31875) - you deserved it (2593)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40754) - you deserved it (4239)
On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (14858)
On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38026) - you deserved it (5525)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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