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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was really, REALLY tired at work. I went to the restroom to take a little break, and must have dozed off, because I was awoken by my boss, knocking on the door of the stall. Apparently, I had been snoring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7512) - you deserved it (239)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:36pm - work - by sleepytime (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I had to write a huge lab for my physics class. It's worth my entire quarter grade and I use a program on a CD for graphing. My mom thought it was a computer game and hid the CD. She can't find it. The lab's due tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29100) - you deserved it (2321)
On 10/05/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Bento (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8857) - you deserved it (25630)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I went to eat with my girlfriend, her parents and my mother. My mother complained about every aspect of the service. When I told her she needed to assert herself, she took her pocketbook and hit me over the head. The whole restaurant stared at us while she yelled "Is that assertive enough?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (4278)
On 09/29/2009 at 7:31am - misc - by User06606 (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I talked to a girl on the phone who had previously told me her last relationship "ended very badly." I said, "So let me guess, that jerk cheated on you?" She paused for a few moments and finally replied, "No, he died in a motorcycle accident." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (13626)
On 09/28/2009 at 1:34pm - love - by Greg (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I met my boyfriend's father for the first time. We were at a restaurant and my bofriend kept playing footsie with me under the table. When my boyfriend excused himself to go to the restroom, the game of footsie was still going on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37406) - you deserved it (2687)
On 09/28/2009 at 12:10am - misc - by ohcrap (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38597) - you deserved it (3376)
On 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm - love - by screwwyou (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML
I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (10905)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I walked into the bathroom and found my sister cleaning her vibrator. With my toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (90334) - you deserved it (4758)
On 06/09/2009 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by quadropheniac (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (69766) - you deserved it (14572)
On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46727) - you deserved it (2865)
On 05/24/2009 at 8:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping in the dog world meant dominance. Well, I decided to instill my dominance and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22251) - you deserved it (97749)
On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, at work, the prizes were given to the employee of the month. They come in to surprise the winner and give prizes. They come over to my cubicle and cover me with silly string. Jokingly, I said: "Do you guys have the wrong cubicle? " They did. The guy in the next cubicle won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41645) - you deserved it (4290)
On 04/30/2009 at 5:42pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78265) - you deserved it (22332)
On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They decided it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49830) - you deserved it (3406)
On 03/08/2009 at 2:10pm - misc - by kelsey (woman) - United States (Texas)
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