Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 06/04/2014 at 12:12am) | Search for a member
About Brave_Sir_Robin : The reality of your perceptions will always fall short of your expectations, no matter how low they may be. My advice? Never accept reality and strive for your dreams no matter what... or become a circus midget. Either way, it's a win/win.
Some of my favorite people/opponents/victims:
Sirin (FML Staff Moderator)
Some of my least favorite people/opponents/victims:
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML
Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
Today, I was at a stop light and a bee landed on my leg. I screamed and started swatting it. It flew into my jacket and I started to strip my jacket off, taking my foot off the brake. I hit the car in front of me and deployed the air bag, breaking my nose. Then the bee stung me in the back. FML
Wednesday 28 January 2015