You may kill me, but you will never insult me because... I'm Ron Burgundy?
Some of my favorite people/opponents/victims:
mercyFML
Perdix
redbluegreen
KaySL
flying_vegan
Sarunas23
Peroxide
Rayn4u
pendatic
monster_tamer
CallMeHush
Sirin (FML Staff Moderator)
Ajjas013
Some of my least favorite people/opponents/victims:
Brave_Sir_Robin
Most recent victory - thread #7668183 (read the last comment; available on my favorite threads)
Most Useful Advice - thread # 8048706 (my comment on FML submissions)
Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12906) - you totally deserved it (1082)
On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I returned home to my girlfriend after being away for 6 weeks of work. I decided to take a shower and change before having a nice dinner with her. Without looking I grabbed a random pair of jeans from my closet to put on. They were Levis. I don't own or wear any Levis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you totally deserved it (1159)
On 02/09/2010 at 10:43am - love - by safariboo - United States (Texas)
Today, I have the flu, food poisoning and I'm on my period. I have enough liquids pouring out of me from various holes to satisfy a sewer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28149) - you totally deserved it (1527)
On 02/09/2010 at 7:22am - health - by SickSmick (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boss asked me if I could work on Valentine's Day because there was no chance of me having a date. She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20578) - you totally deserved it (1542)
Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19567) - you totally deserved it (4939)
On 01/29/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by purple - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I woke up with a hangover. I had a party last night. Besides a stolen TV, someone seemingly decided to take a dump in my piano. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7658) - you totally deserved it (13916)
On 01/28/2010 at 6:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Telemark)
Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17984) - you totally deserved it (1703)
On 01/26/2010 at 7:55am - health - by anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you totally deserved it (14646)
On 01/21/2010 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. And then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him. Giving me the evil eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17932) - you totally deserved it (1137)
On 01/21/2010 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, during a review session for a botany class, I began to space out. Then, I started to go, "beep, beep, beep, beep." I stopped when I noticed the entire class staring at me as if I were insane. This was not the first time this had happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4191) - you totally deserved it (17466)
On 12/10/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20908) - you totally deserved it (1025)
On 12/10/2009 at 12:24am - work - by g_unit (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, it snowed. So, a guy I like and I decided to go sledding. I really wanted to impress him by going down the hill and casually slowing down at the bottom right at his feet. Instead, I crashed into him and broke his ankle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4924) - you totally deserved it (16291)
On 12/06/2009 at 10:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19345) - you totally deserved it (1458)
On 12/03/2009 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was working at a restaurant when my manager approached me and informed me that there was people having sex in the women's washroom, and he needed me to go in and ask them to cut it out. So I did. Five minutes later, a woman walks out with her disabled son and asks to talk to my manager. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you totally deserved it (1402)
On 11/30/2009 at 12:51am - misc - by Janer88 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I finally received a paycheck for the first time in six months. I celebrated by promptly falling down a flight of stairs and losing consciousness. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13827) - you totally deserved it (2727)
On 11/23/2009 at 5:12pm - work - by DBR (man) - United States (New York)
