About Brainnnnz : Uhh... no.
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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Brainnnnz's favorite FMLs
Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML
by idiotfucks / 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/17/2014 at 10:55pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML
by sad but true. / 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
by stupiddog / 04/15/2014 at 8:08am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
by Brody89 / 04/09/2014 at 2:40pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by Silver_Jet / 03/05/2014 at 8:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by sistermonster / 02/26/2014 at 4:45am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Work
by awkward / 02/22/2014 at 12:39am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out what a lightweight my girlfriend is. After having a couple of drinks, she began flirting, then grabbed my ass. She felt around a bit before freaking out and asking where my penis was. FML
by Anonymous / 02/21/2014 at 12:37pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Intimacy
by took it / 02/09/2014 at 9:36am / United States (New York) / Health
by brookenicolee29 / 01/26/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
Today, my neighbor brought a ruined napkin holder over and claimed that we drilled a hole through his wall and ruined it. I apologized, not telling him that it was actually a bullet that my boyfriend shot through the wall. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2013 at 12:53am / United States / Miscellaneous
by OuchImAMoron / 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous