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Bornundeath

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Bornundeath

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  • Number of visits : 355
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Bornundeath's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

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Consolation prize

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Bornundeath's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pull cheese out of my PS3's disc tray because my younger brother assumed all PS3's could grill stuff because "Youtube told him." FML

#7315075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29288) - you deserved it (2788)

On 01/13/2010 at 3:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, some drunk dude broke into my house while my parents were out. Scared, I asked him what he wanted, his response was "cookies." FML

#7264308
183 comments

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

#6748934
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32215) - you deserved it (4013)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:05am - love - by luckygirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while taking a shower, I saw shadows moving across the curtains. The shadow turned out to be a cricket that then fell into the tub. I ran out of the bathroom screaming and naked. My little sister came to my door and said, "If I hadn't just seen your balls, I would swear mom had TWO daughters." FML

#6712676
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11522) - you deserved it (36678)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:03pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28068) - you deserved it (4749)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML

#6118877
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22249) - you deserved it (4651)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by feelthelove - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

#6002537
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31283) - you deserved it (2449)

On 10/26/2009 at 2:32am - misc - by Jack - United States (Missouri)

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

#5984352
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31924) - you deserved it (2092)

On 10/25/2009 at 12:36am - love - by Kalaina - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was riding the bus home from college. I was standing in the aisle and there was a rather cute girl sitting next to me. The bus came to an abrupt stop, I tripped, and fell into her lap. She shrieked, "Eww! Get off me!" and shove me onto the floor of the bus. Nice to know I'm revolting. FML

#5939502
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (4258)

On 10/22/2009 at 12:57am - misc - by Chris (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I discovered that nothing kills a wet dream faster than a kitten who pounces on things that wiggle under the blanket. FML

#5903153
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20820) - you deserved it (3500)

On 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by JohnB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was written up because my manager heard me insulting a customer. How did I insult her? I called her grandma. Who did I say this to? My grandma. FML

#5873619
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39042) - you deserved it (1851)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:06am - work - by booste (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

#5802914
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39190) - you deserved it (1819)

On 10/12/2009 at 7:32pm - money - by thafinest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the traffic court judge didn't believe my three witnesses and two security cameras that proved I was innocent. He claimed a cop would never lie, and that the dashboard security cameras, which the cop brought in, were somehow edited by me. I was fined $1,000 and my license was suspended. FML

Today, after an amazing sex session, my boyfriend rolls over and stares lovingly into my eyes, puts his hand on my cheek caressing it tenderly... and says "Who's a good piggy?" in his best Homer Simpson's voice. FML

#5562076
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22802) - you deserved it (4343)

On 09/30/2009 at 4:28am - intimacy - by homersgirl (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I learned to check inside the oven before you preheat it. Sometimes children hide their pet rabbit in there. FML

#5522422
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66618) - you deserved it (9003)

On 09/28/2009 at 3:15am - misc - by ripfluffy (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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