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Bornundeath

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Bornundeath

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  • Number of visits : 473
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Bornundeath's FML badges

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Bornundeath's favorite FMLs

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39226) - you deserved it (15304)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by sending me a text. She was sitting right beside me on a 10 hour car trip, and there was still 6 more hours to go. FML

#14104708
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34600) - you deserved it (2724)

On 12/06/2010 at 5:37am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to see more of his passionate side. He pushed my head down towards his lap. FML

#13945313
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (12625)

On 11/23/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, trying to be cute, I told my soon-to-be husband he was the ying to my yang. He responded with "Baby, you're the Monica Lewinsky to my Bill Clinton." FML

#13762058
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22366) - you deserved it (7695)

On 11/08/2010 at 4:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

#13661699
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63924) - you deserved it (9096)

On 10/31/2010 at 9:30am - intimacy - by Tai - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had a date with a guy I've had a crush on for 6 years. Things got heated when we got back to his place, but he had trouble getting the condom on. As soon he got it on, he came. I told him it was ok, I'd help him get hard again. He said, "No thanks. I'm good." FML

#13601704
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34592) - you deserved it (4065)

On 10/26/2010 at 12:37pm - intimacy - by Deidle-dee - United States

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68918) - you deserved it (7757)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

#12485840
357 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29007) - you deserved it (33733)

On 08/12/2010 at 9:01pm - intimacy - by Blueberrypicc (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for for his birthday in a couple of days. He replied "to be single" and walked out of the room. FML

#12449914
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38615) - you deserved it (3972)

On 08/11/2010 at 6:40am - love - by gutsforme (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I found out that my best friend is moving to Arkansas, and my girlfriend is going with him. FML

#12386734
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39840) - you deserved it (3115)

On 08/08/2010 at 4:49am - love - by LadyGagasLOVER (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML

#12305755
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40493) - you deserved it (7207)

On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend bought a pogo stick. Now he rides it more than he rides me. FML

#11817765
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31669) - you deserved it (9666)

On 07/11/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by RachelVanLannen9 (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML

#10760568
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56424) - you deserved it (3530)

On 05/25/2010 at 7:06pm - love - by DHarman (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML

#9416886
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48917) - you deserved it (9608)

On 03/27/2010 at 4:26am - intimacy - by pumpkinlover89 - United States (California)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. While we were fooling around, she started squeezing my cheeks and told me I remind her of her son. FML

#8434762
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20194) - you deserved it (3035)

On 02/19/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by Brett meek - Canada (British Columbia)



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