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Bornundeath

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Bornundeath

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  • Number of visits : 502
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Bornundeath's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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Bornundeath's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked around for hours with a post-it on my back reading "I JUST HAD SEX!" My boyfriend stuck it on me. FML

#16846296
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36450) - you deserved it (7645)

On 06/25/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by suxx - United States (New Jersey)

Today, the girl I've been dating for several months, and fallen in love with, said "We're just friends, right? My mom thinks I'm leading you on." FML

#16774527
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48851) - you deserved it (4376)

On 06/21/2011 at 1:07am - love - by played (man) - Norway

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

#16661318
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (3528)

On 06/14/2011 at 1:56pm - misc - by ugh - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was given a new nickname at work due to my boss always confusing me with one of my co-workers who is taller than me. Someone suggested he just call us the same name to make it simpler, and the tall one would be big and the short one little. Everyone at my job now calls me Little Dick. FML

#16591385
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39688) - you deserved it (4371)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:09am - work - by lilben (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50325) - you deserved it (7818)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a mosquito feeding on my morning wood; probably the only thing that will ever suck my penis. FML

#16277810
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59267) - you deserved it (10103)

On 05/21/2011 at 5:07am - intimacy - by no one - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

#16154478
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33187) - you deserved it (14662)

On 05/13/2011 at 3:20am - kids - by eenkoekje -

Today, I found myself crying for an hour when my recreated crush on The Sims 3 game rejected my character and ran off with someone else. FML

#15978808
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17670) - you deserved it (52184)

On 04/29/2011 at 3:34pm - love - by Nxydolli (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, my boyfriend pulled on my pubes and made 'engine starting' noises. This was his attempt at foreplay. FML

#15617936
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (14046)

On 04/03/2011 at 7:27am - intimacy - by dahs - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21443) - you deserved it (41766)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I flirted with a guy for ten minutes before realizing I was sitting between him and his girlfriend. FML

#14881953
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10951) - you deserved it (38503)

On 02/07/2011 at 12:41pm - love - by Lindsay (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML

#14811795
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36430) - you deserved it (15645)

On 02/02/2011 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Missy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend cancelled our vacation plans because I'll be on my period, arguing that, "It wouldn't be a real holiday." FML

#14613106
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28664) - you deserved it (7571) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 11:44am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, my best friend lost her virginity in the backseat of a car. I was sitting in the front. FML

Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML

#14147287
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52292) - you deserved it (3854)

On 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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