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Bornundeath

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Bornundeath

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  • Number of visits : 480
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Bornundeath's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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Consolation prize

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Bornundeath's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML

#19324348
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (6118)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML

#19297004
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (4423)

On 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm - love - by Brian - United States (Washington)

Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my step mom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML

#19255892
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14660) - you deserved it (14591)

On 03/11/2012 at 5:15am - misc - by meganisabella - United States

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (4262)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was sexing it up with my boyfriend. Halfway through, he looked at me and said, "Y'know what you never see in a porno? Intellectual conversation. Read any good books lately?" He wouldn't keep going until I answered. FML

#18764509
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26501) - you deserved it (6233)

On 01/10/2012 at 4:36am - intimacy - by eakthegeek - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to see if he wanted to come over to my house. He said he couldn't because he was out of town. That would have be perfectly acceptable, if I hadn't called him on his house phone. FML

#18032391
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34767) - you deserved it (2944)

On 10/20/2011 at 5:18pm - love - by cmd102 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML

#17999890
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25102) - you deserved it (7171) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by poluxe - France

Today, I was struggling to cycle up a steep hill. A guy heading past me on a scooter said I'd lost something. I stopped and looked back. Seeing nothing, I asked him what I lost. He replied, "Your momentum!" FML

#17985302
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (5184) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/14/2011 at 9:53pm - misc - by adieuvelib - France

Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends. He embraced me while I struggled against tears, and after a few moments of silence said, "Hey, you know what? I would fuck you anytime. Anytime." FML

#17973250
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33049) - you deserved it (9133)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:19am - intimacy - by scewable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML

#17962903
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23464) - you deserved it (11792)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:11pm - love - by Andrew - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50801) - you deserved it (6086)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML

#17548776
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19985) - you deserved it (41677)

On 08/22/2011 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my roommate told me that unscented deodorant prevents ingrown hairs on the bikini line. She shared this beauty tip with me when I caught her using my Lady Speed Stick on her snatch. FML

#17497875
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30732) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:14am - intimacy - by AllieOops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14881) - you deserved it (49868)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32287) - you deserved it (3130)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)



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