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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (64606)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39309) - you deserved it (6354)
On 03/12/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by Username - United States
Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30733) - you deserved it (5360)
On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I ran into one of my teachers from high school. When I told her I just recently graduated college and was starting graduate school in the fall, she said "you don't have to lie, some people just are not cut out for college. There is no shame." I wasn't lying, I graduated with honors too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24851) - you deserved it (1895)
On 02/27/2011 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I decided to wake my fiancé up by giving him a blow-job. When he finally started to wake up he called me by his ex's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33019) - you deserved it (5082)
On 01/31/2011 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by MollyMadamme -
Today, I received a text message from my wife who had gone out for the evening with some girlfriends: "Have to take a friend home, she's drunk! I'll be staying at his place. Call you tomorrow morning." His? FML
I agree, your life sucks (37695) - you deserved it (3122) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2011 at 1:21am - love - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version
Today, while presenting a project I've worked on for months, one of the professors exasperatedly cut in mid-sentence, saying, "Look, it's shit. Just stop already." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23571) - you deserved it (3570)
On 01/28/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Slovakia (Bratislava)
Today, I found out how hard a lemon is to the nuts when being hurled by an angry girlfriend for losing at Wii Sports. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19605) - you deserved it (3548)
On 01/20/2011 at 9:24pm - misc - by neverhavingkids (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend sent me a picture of his morning dump because it was heart-shaped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (5123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins
Today, my daughter was expelled from her school for beating another kindergartener with a Dr. Seuss book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26665) - you deserved it (5523)
On 01/13/2011 at 3:48pm - kids - by me - United States
Today, I walked in on my roommate flat-ironing his pubic hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26313) - you deserved it (2505)
On 01/09/2011 at 7:19pm - health - by curlyisnogood -
Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58038) - you deserved it (2755)
On 01/08/2011 at 8:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I met my boyfriend's grandparents for the first time. When my boyfriend introduced us, his grandfather smiled at me, took my hand, and said in the most polite voice, "Wow, you're not nearly as pretty as he described you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19136) - you deserved it (1846)
On 01/08/2011 at 7:22pm - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I picked up my friend's new kitten so enthusiastically I scared it and it shat all over me. I literally scared the shit out of it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9573) - you deserved it (17804)
On 12/10/2010 at 7:12pm - misc - by elliekilroy (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, I found out that even if you have to go really bad, never burst into a bathroom stall assuming that it's vacant because you don't see any legs underneath. There might be a child in there, who will scream, and whose mother will burst in and start screaming at you for being a "pedo." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20025) - you deserved it (4141)
On 12/08/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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