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Boobical_Ribs

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Boobical_Ribs

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  • Number of visits : 474
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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Boobical_Ribs's favorite FMLs

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49378) - you deserved it (13952)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45752) - you deserved it (4745)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went on another date with a guy I've had a crush on for a long time. Afterwards, we went back to my place for the first time and things got heated. While taking my pants off, he recoiled and asked if I thought it was still No Shave November. FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26504) - you deserved it (43532)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, feeling lonely after my recent breakup, I put on my nicest clothes and went out clubbing with a few friends. I brought a guy back to my place, and we got intimate. It was going well, until he took off my push-up bra, then panicked and drunkenly asked, "Where'd they go?!" FML

#20477055
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25101) - you deserved it (48171)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48720) - you deserved it (5864)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60277) - you deserved it (6940)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend on the bathroom floor, I felt something tickle my balls. I looked back to see her sister's kitten getting in on the action. I think I just had my first threesome. FML

#20456674
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46475) - you deserved it (7941)

On 01/13/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Drewbie (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I asked my husband to come upstairs to our bedroom, thinking I could get some "special time." It ended up with us arguing about his mother, and him falling asleep cuddling my pillow while sucking his thumb. FML

#20113138
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19698) - you deserved it (3146)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:15am - love - by anonymous2.0 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23597) - you deserved it (2215)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23942) - you deserved it (1848)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75160) - you deserved it (8794)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that my daughter's "pen pal" is really a 58-year-old man in prison. FML

#20109821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23857) - you deserved it (2677)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm - kids - by ohgod. - United States (Florida)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my teenage daughter asked me how old I was when I lost my virginity. I sarcastically replied that I'm still a virgin. She looked at me blankly and said, "Jeez, no wonder you're so uptight. You need to get laid, mom." FML

#20104739
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27007) - you deserved it (6946)

On 10/06/2012 at 8:05pm - kids - by TheVirginJenny - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out why my teenage daughter won't brush her teeth properly. Apparently my son convinced her that toothpaste has tons of calories. FML

#20092131
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22828) - you deserved it (2263)

On 09/28/2012 at 10:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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