I'm hungry
Today, I was walking whilst texting. I thought I was was going in a straight line but I ended up walking right into an open phone booth. A woman was inside making a phone call. I lost my balance, pinning her up against the wall. She thought I was attacking her and clobbered me with the receiver. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5043) - you totally deserved it (27119)
On 09/27/2009 at 11:59am - misc - by absentmindedmoron (man) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)
Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (42017) - you totally deserved it (2223)
On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turns to me and screams at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's call the whole thing off." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6384) - you totally deserved it (29456)
On 06/08/2009 at 8:14pm - work - by Chipper (man) - United States (California)
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12744) - you totally deserved it (38414)
On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I thought it would be funny to fart in my roommates mouth while he was asleep. I walked over to him and pulled my pyjamas down and let loose. To my surprise it was a very wet one and I accidently took a dump on his face, he woke up and beat me until I was bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you totally deserved it (221981)
On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - health - by dumptaker (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I locked my keys in my car, after spending 20 minutes on the phone with AAA, and then waiting a half hour the guy showed up to unlock my car, he stuck his hand in the drivers side window and said " You couldn't just reach in"? I forgot I left he window open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5629) - you totally deserved it (63708)
On 04/17/2009 at 12:49pm - misc - by .... (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I fell down a flight of stairs onto cement and had to get stitches in my knee. The class I was running to was Buddhist Philosophy where I was supposed to give a presentation on how we all need to slow down and stop rushing through life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15529) - you totally deserved it (42575)
On 03/17/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Noname - United States (Washington)
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