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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, my social teacher thought it would be a great idea to have a casual debate about Margaret Thatcher and her legacy. Within 10 minutes, the entire class was yelling, screaming, throwing stuff at each other. I got hit in the face with a binder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31912) - you deserved it (2593)
On 04/10/2013 at 8:40pm - misc - by great idea - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38451) - you deserved it (5548)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States
Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34413) - you deserved it (16709)
On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40182) - you deserved it (7903)
On 04/10/2013 at 12:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, thinking I was alone at work, I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I turned around to find out I wasn't alone; a cute girl was staring at me, unimpressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (14598)
On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States
Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25432) - you deserved it (8006)
On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40631) - you deserved it (4301)
On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54721) - you deserved it (7616)
On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I didn't mind paying a little bit extra for my manicure because I forgot how nice it was to have someone hold your hand. Even if it was an old Asian lady. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27821) - you deserved it (3809)
On 04/09/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by lonelygirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I had to get my grandparents out of jail, because they were caught having sex in a public place. They excused their actions by saying that you can only be young and stupid once, so if you continue doing stupid actions, you are still young. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37067) - you deserved it (2501)
On 04/08/2013 at 7:16pm - intimacy - by MrKento (man) - Honduras (Francisco Morazan)
Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (7304)
On 04/08/2013 at 5:17am - intimacy - by dancekat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41143) - you deserved it (2825)
On 04/08/2013 at 2:12am - health - by chinatownhobo (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)
Today, I found out my creepy, obsessive neighbor got a pet hamster and named it after me. He has been telling all sorts of stories about his hamster using my name, and he just told me in detail how it died of heart attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25232) - you deserved it (1200)
On 04/07/2013 at 8:00pm - animals - by idontevenlikehamsters - United States (Virginia)
Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
I agree, your life sucks (24433) - you deserved it (3888)
On 04/07/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by DJ (man) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30959) - you deserved it (4456)
On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)
Friday 24 May 2013
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