Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bluemonster3

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bluemonster3

0Liked!

Bluemonster3Bluemonster3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 32994
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Bluemonster3 : Welcome to my profile :)

Feel free to look around.

Bluemonster3's page activity

Visits<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:50am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:39am<b>Oddire</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:01am<b>footballguy55</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:04am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:42pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:34pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:08am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:32pm<b>icetube550</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:42pm<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:30pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:37am<b>Taira_Yuzuki</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:04pm<b>will45</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:02am<b>midpri1213</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:48pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:06am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:12am

Bluemonster3's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bluemonster3's badges

Bluemonster3's favorite FMLs

Today, I had some painful gas at work, so I tried to silently ease it out. It was silent all right; silent, and so deadly that someone exclaimed, "What the fuck?!" My coworkers traced it back to me. Now they're all pointing their mini desk fans in my direction to make a point. FML

#21241122
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37138) - you deserved it (3471)

On 08/19/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new doctor gave me a breast exam and said everything was healthy, before adding "Well, I think so, anyway. I don't actually work here." As I freaked out, he laughed out loud, said he was just kidding, and that he should prescribe me a chill pill. FML

#21241090
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42068) - you deserved it (5965)

On 08/19/2014 at 4:46pm - health - by humdrummitydrum (woman) - United States

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24295) - you deserved it (44702)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I went to a baseball game with my girlfriend's dad. I got a boner when they sang the anthem, because that's what I sing in my head when having sex with his daughter so I last longer. FML

#21240482
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43966) - you deserved it (16390)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by embarrassed - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31197) - you deserved it (13732)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, I listened to a little girl explain how her scabs taste great with lemon juice. FML

#21240451
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39306) - you deserved it (3536)

On 08/18/2014 at 11:13am - kids - by Stellarum (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML

#21240389
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40811) - you deserved it (4567)

On 08/18/2014 at 8:10am - kids - by I hate children - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

#21239690
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37640) - you deserved it (6324)

On 08/17/2014 at 11:19am - misc - by Etrius (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went camping with my husband not too far from our house. We got our tent pitched up, stove ready and roll-out bed out. He then said, "I'm just gonna go for a walk." It had been about an hour before I decided to go find him. He had walked home to play CoD. FML

#21239602
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45024) - you deserved it (5121)

On 08/17/2014 at 6:19am - misc - by AnnoyedWoman (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42383) - you deserved it (13752)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I had to awkwardly grab my pink dildo after my husband's friend asked what it was that my dog was chewing on. FML

Today, while I was at the dentist, I couldn't stop gagging when he tried to put a tab in my mouth to get an x-ray. As I left, I overheard him saying, "I feel sorry for her boyfriend." FML

#21238932
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48568) - you deserved it (7748)

On 08/16/2014 at 12:03pm - intimacy - by gag reflex - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I began to sign "I love you" to my boyfriend from across the room. I ended up just poking myself in the eye. FML

#21238728
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32672) - you deserved it (7995)

On 08/16/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Hopeless romantic (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

#21238375
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44296) - you deserved it (4583)

On 08/15/2014 at 6:09pm - love - by meltdowninrels (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML

#21237898
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (9989)

On 08/15/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: