About Bluemonster3 : Welcome to my profile :)
Feel free to look around.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42917) - you deserved it (5432)
On 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Thailand
Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48379) - you deserved it (6848)
On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)
Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48366) - you deserved it (5781)
On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)
Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36720) - you deserved it (16238)
On 04/19/2013 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Wallz99 (man) - Pakistan (Azad Kashmir)
Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (14920)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by KatiRozz1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Middlesbrough)
Today, I woke up to my brother chopping all my bangs off. When I yelled at him, he could only shout back, "You can see clearly now, the bangs are gone!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (7046)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by my dumb bro - United States (Arkansas)
Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52802) - you deserved it (9750)
On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35864) - you deserved it (5689)
On 04/17/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Aaronator25 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was given a powerful laxative to clear me out. I can't go to the bathroom because the four guests of my sleeping roommate are all sitting in dead silence against the paper-thin bathroom wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (2847)
On 04/16/2013 at 7:13pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51073) - you deserved it (5563)
On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62180) - you deserved it (5227)
On 04/15/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by wow (woman) - Russian Federation (Saint Petersburg City)
Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46743) - you deserved it (8856)
On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86363) - you deserved it (3209)
On 04/15/2013 at 3:37am - misc - by OPhere (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was taking a walk, when an elderly lady in a motorized wheelchair slammed into me from behind. There was plenty of room to pass by, but noooo, trying to run me down like a dog, then giving me the finger and yelling "Watch where you're walking!" is so damn preferable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36949) - you deserved it (3246)
On 04/14/2013 at 6:20pm - health - by danman (man) - United States
Today, trying to be friendly, I said good morning to the creepy guy at work. He responded by wordlessly hugging me. I was touched, until I realized he was trying to unhook my bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41530) - you deserved it (6728)
On 04/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
