Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bluemonster3

Offline (6 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bluemonster3

0Liked!

Bluemonster3Bluemonster3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 32957
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About Bluemonster3 : Welcome to my profile :)

Feel free to look around.

Bluemonster3's page activity

Visits<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:50am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:39am<b>Oddire</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:01am<b>footballguy55</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:04am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:42pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:34pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:08am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:32pm<b>icetube550</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:42pm<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:30pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:37am<b>Taira_Yuzuki</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:04pm<b>will45</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:02am<b>midpri1213</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:48pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:06am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:12am

Bluemonster3's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bluemonster3's badges

Bluemonster3's favorite FMLs

Today, I dreamed I was wrestling an alligator. I quickly woke up to my girlfriend yelling and me holding her in a headlock. FML

#21247589
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37309) - you deserved it (5004)

On 08/29/2014 at 12:16am - misc - by AgentOrion - United States (Alabama)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35622) - you deserved it (4687)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38195) - you deserved it (2800)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42867) - you deserved it (4936)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I won a goldfish at the amusement park. My little brother took him out of the bowl because he thought he was drowning. FML

#21246787
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36965) - you deserved it (2962)

On 08/27/2014 at 10:33pm - kids - by That idiot - United States (Nevada)

Today, after coming home from a two week vacation, my dog was pink, there were beer bottles and used condoms on my bed, and everything was a mess. I asked my sister, who'd been watching over the place, what had happened. She just said "Oops." and hung up. FML

#21246633
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37590) - you deserved it (3506)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:52pm - misc - by nayahbear24 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it's been a few months since my grandfather passed away. Now all of his porn subscriptions are getting forwarded to my address. FML

#21246620
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35962) - you deserved it (2794)

On 08/27/2014 at 6:03pm - misc - by dr.mantistobagon (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, as I was driving out of a parking lot, some douchebag yelled at me: "Nice car! Too bad you're so ugly!" It was my friend's car, so I don't even have that going for me. FML

#21246563
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36741) - you deserved it (2641)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:21pm - misc - by leem (woman) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I tried to contact my college's financial aid office. After listening to the same damn "Our counselors are busy" message for over an hour, someone picked up the phone and hung up immediately. FML

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20035) - you deserved it (19)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, as I got out the shower, my mom walked in to give me a towel, then quickly covered her eyes and said, "Woah, I almost saw your penis. Good things it's ridiculously small." I had friends over, and I'm pretty sure I'll hear about this for at least the next month. FML

Today, I wore a sexy nurse's outfit for a little roleplay with my boyfriend. After the main event, he said the sex was actually pretty bad and that he should file a medical malpractice lawsuit. Then he laughed at his own joke, got dressed, and went out for drinks. FML

#21245913
80 comments

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33630) - you deserved it (5439)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML

#21245756
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41097) - you deserved it (3504)

On 08/26/2014 at 12:22pm - misc - by WTF, guys? - United States (California)

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

#21245365
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33956) - you deserved it (4095)

On 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm - love - by byebyeromance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: