Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bluemonster3

Offline (the 07/22/2014 at 2:52pm) | Search for a member

Bluemonster3

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 25755
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About Bluemonster3 : Welcome to my profile :)

Feel free to look around.

Bluemonster3's page activity

Visits<b>icetube550</b> - yesterday at 7:37pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:42pm<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:30pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:37am<b>Taira_Yuzuki</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:04pm<b>will45</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:02am<b>midpri1213</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:48pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:06am<b>lord_meloetta</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 3:12am<b>1princess</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 7:16pm<b>Bentonic</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 3:08am<b>DetroitDov</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:43pm<b>ToriDiane</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:06am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 1:24am<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 11:22am<b>FirstCommentEver</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 4:48pm<b>rabbi1010</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 2:52am<b>arandomtacotree</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 10:13pm

Bluemonster3's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bluemonster3's badges

Bluemonster3's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42363) - you deserved it (13239)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, my doctor got my blood test results from the lab. He looked at me gravely and told me I had just weeks left to live. After I started hyperventilating and crying, he burst out laughing and said he was kidding. He then prescribed me some iron tablets and sent me on my way. FML

#21182241
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50811) - you deserved it (5891)

On 06/20/2014 at 7:03pm - health - by legitfile.bat.virus.exe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

#21180516
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48697) - you deserved it (13624)

On 06/19/2014 at 10:37am - love - by stopinthenameoflove - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54497) - you deserved it (4310)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

#21179613
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24825) - you deserved it (50272)

On 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm - misc - by shtidsfpa (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I feel massively depressed, but I can't talk to anyone about it as I'm British. FML

#21177849
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35530) - you deserved it (9984)

On 06/17/2014 at 8:26am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I went to CVS to buy some tampons. The cashier said, "Ewwww... You're on your period." FML

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML

#21177356
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24138) - you deserved it (42500)

On 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had a job interview. It went really well until I couldn't figure out how to open the slide door to get out of the room. FML

#21177054
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (5524)

On 06/16/2014 at 6:49pm - work - by UnhappilyUnemployed (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was trying on bikinis at a local store. When I put my pants back on, my foot got stuck, I tripped and fell through the curtain of the fitting room, topless. FML

#21176636
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51362) - you deserved it (7345)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Germany

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43575) - you deserved it (4921)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49816) - you deserved it (8379)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML

#21175491
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45841) - you deserved it (4191)

On 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was using my phone while in a crowded waiting room, and I accidentally tapped on a YouTube video with the volume still at maximum. The first words everyone heard? "Fuck her right in the pussy!" FML

#21174627
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46089) - you deserved it (22743)

On 06/14/2014 at 5:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: