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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I was making love to my boyfriend, when he discovered that if he hits a certain area just right, my leg starts shaking like a dog. Now he won't stop patting my head and saying, "Who's a good girl?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41248) - you deserved it (6233)
On 06/15/2013 at 4:26pm - intimacy - by woof woof?? (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33883) - you deserved it (3062)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I woke up at 5:30 and made the half hour drive to work only to find out that it was my day off. After finally getting back home and into bed, my boss called, requesting that I come back to work since I was "already up". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40349) - you deserved it (5181)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:41am - work - by Shitty Boss Shitty Job - United States (Iowa)
Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40130) - you deserved it (3599)
On 06/15/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by well then... - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44209) - you deserved it (4210)
On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)
Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58779) - you deserved it (5775)
On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (6148)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by :( - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34387) - you deserved it (21659)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44166) - you deserved it (3682)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
I agree, your life sucks (40934) - you deserved it (2568)
On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am feeling freezing cold and soaking wet. It turns out that my dad had opened my window when I was sleeping, and rain water had been pouring in on me all night. My hair, face, pillow, blankets, alarm clock, and homework were all soaked as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40904) - you deserved it (2634)
On 06/12/2013 at 10:40pm - misc - by Anon - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at my wedding, the minister forgot to skip the "does anyone object?" part. My mother stood up and gave a lengthy reason, which caused my future in-laws to start shouting. It turned into a small riot, and no, we're not married now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54053) - you deserved it (2673)
On 06/12/2013 at 12:27pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50770) - you deserved it (3428)
On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23883) - you deserved it (55971)
On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (49560) - you deserved it (8260)
On 06/11/2013 at 2:46pm - love - by lsababy (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 17 June 2013
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