Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Bluemonster3

Offline (23 hours ago) | Search for a member

Bluemonster3

0Liked!

Bluemonster3Bluemonster3
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 38876
  • Number of comments : 107
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 22 posted

About Bluemonster3 : Welcome to my profile :)

Feel free to look around.

Bluemonster3's page activity

Visits<b>Tankkiller308</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 6:21pm<b>ChenEighty</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 9:50am<b>Flendre_scarlet</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 5:39am<b>Oddire</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:01am<b>footballguy55</b> - the 08/12/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 2:04am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 9:42pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:34pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:08am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 6:32pm<b>icetube550</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 7:37pm<b>Afroninja4566</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 10:42pm<b>SmokinGuns</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:30pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:37am<b>Taira_Yuzuki</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 1:04pm<b>will45</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 11:02am<b>midpri1213</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 7:48pm<b>Kibaruto</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 11:06am

Bluemonster3's FML badges

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of Bluemonster3's badges

Bluemonster3's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the dry-cleaner's and went to get my bag of laundry from my trunk, but I ended up dropping the bag. My dirty underwear blew around the parking lot. I had to chase it all down as a bunch of people looked on. FML

#21320377
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20863) - you deserved it (2497)

On 12/19/2014 at 2:24pm - misc - by embarrassed - United States

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she didn't "technically" cheat on me, because the other guy came on her and not inside her. FML

#21320297
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24797) - you deserved it (1891)

On 12/19/2014 at 11:16am - love - by "technically" my ex-girlfriend - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, I took a crap. When I stood up to admire my handiwork and flush, I noticed blood-red everywhere in the toilet. I freaked out like a little girl, thinking I was bleeding out of my ass. Then I noticed the ketchup packets my roommate had slipped under the seat to prank me. FML

#21319149
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/17/2014 at 1:47pm - misc - by RIP Turd (peacebeuponit) (man) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, after finally finishing a huge internal rebranding project at work, which I've poured blood, sweat and tears into over the last 12 months, I found out we're being acquired by another company and that our new brand will no longer exist. FML

#21319043
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26771) - you deserved it (1801)

On 12/17/2014 at 8:43am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my classmate commented on how quiet I am. I responded with, "Well, nobody plots murder out loud," trying to be funny. My teacher tried to get me arrested. FML

#21318752
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30743) - you deserved it (6020)

On 12/16/2014 at 8:54pm - work - by justjoking - United States

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I found out my Nan passed away. My boyfriend came over to comfort me, things got intimate and we ended up having sex. After he came, he chuckled to himself and said, "That one's for you, Nan". FML

Today, as I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, she started doing stupidly fake moaning, which then went really high-pitched like a little girl's, killing my hard-on. She says she thought that because I'm Japanese-American, I'd only be able to cum if she copied "those Japanese pornstars". FML

#21317298
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32333) - you deserved it (3573)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by dating a moron (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26433) - you deserved it (4934)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend sent Christmas Carollers to my house to tell me he was breaking up with me. FML

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38916) - you deserved it (2186)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

#21315499
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13326) - you deserved it (33320)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:26am - work - by unlucky (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32453) - you deserved it (2476)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter wasn't feeling well, so we allowed her to sleep in bed with us. She snuggled right up with my husband. I felt a little jealous until she turned around and cuddled with me, just long enough to throw up all over me. She then flipped back over and snuggled with her dad. FML

#21314569
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31487) - you deserved it (3253)

On 12/09/2014 at 5:39pm - kids - by SickMaMa - United States (New York)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: