About Blueglasscup : I'm a crazy, chilled girl who gets fucked by life everyday
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Blueglasscup's favorite FMLs
Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/11/2012 at 3:02am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
by Anonymous / 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
by banana2894 / 08/10/2012 at 12:40am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
by SLAB_GIRL15 / 08/01/2012 at 3:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
by 16590 / 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm / Sweden / Transportation
by creeped out / 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
by Damn / 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML
by straightlyconfused / 05/27/2012 at 9:20am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by dentistrygirl / 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/28/2012 at 11:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…