About Blueglasscup : I am terrified of bronies and my little pony.
50 favourites
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50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20716) - you deserved it (3456)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I asked a girl out. She replied, "Sorry, I'm suddenly a lesbian." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21728) - you deserved it (2077)
On 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm - love - by imafunguy (man) - United States
Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (1575)
On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17566) - you deserved it (2585)
On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (4389)
On 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by Geckosrock99 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (1981)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I cleaned the toilet so vigorously that I snapped the handle of the brush. I laughed and told the rest of my family. Instead of joining in on the hilarity, my mother screamed, "We have had that toilet brush for twenty-six years!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19568) - you deserved it (1614)
On 08/01/2012 at 3:59am - misc - by SLAB_GIRL15 - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (2014)
On 07/09/2012 at 3:06am - misc - by wetandnaked (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34123) - you deserved it (2875)
On 06/12/2012 at 2:28pm - misc - by creeped out - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (3522)
On 06/10/2012 at 12:13am - intimacy - by rachiej8 - United States (Vermont)
Today, I was trying to take my shirt off. It was an awkward fit, so I had to basically wrestle it for five minutes. The kicker was that I was giving my boyfriend a striptease. He laughed so hard and for so long that we never had sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16417) - you deserved it (5007)
On 06/05/2012 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Damn (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter was still acting out her teenage issues. This morning, when I told her to, "Have a nice day" she screamed at me, "DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (23187) - you deserved it (3055) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/30/2012 at 6:41pm - kids - by Aldoch -
Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13592) - you deserved it (1449)
On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24718) - you deserved it (2555)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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