About Blue_Skies89 : F. 21. Enjoys a good laugh!
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You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
YDI master
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13579) - you deserved it (21488)
On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26900) - you deserved it (4028)
On 10/03/2011 at 12:26am - kids - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21450) - you deserved it (7074)
On 09/05/2011 at 1:04pm - kids - by kidswithnomanners (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my six year old nephew told me to peel off my skin because, "They say you look prettier on the inside." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22926) - you deserved it (2208)
On 09/03/2011 at 10:36am - kids - by abby181 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29368) - you deserved it (3955)
On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)
Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (9831)
On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada
Today, my girlfriend will only speak to me using Lady Gaga lyrics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27467) - you deserved it (4622)
On 08/31/2011 at 2:31am - love - by ryanlogan - Canada (Alberta)
Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15828) - you deserved it (3023)
On 08/30/2011 at 10:53am - misc - by gofixmyhead (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (2449)
On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my mother-in-law told my husband that I cannot stay in her house unless I can bring proof from a doctor that my allergy to cats is not contagious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20985) - you deserved it (1495)
On 08/29/2011 at 2:47pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my son was eating a plum. I was busy in the kitchen, and he came running in saying "Mummy my plum is wet", I told him it was fine and bit a bit off to prove it. He looked at me and said "No Mummy! Can you wash it please, I dropped it in my potty". I feel ill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24387) - you deserved it (6249)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:25pm - kids - by cjay2200 - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)
Today, I was out shopping when an old lady bumped into me and dropped her purse. Trying to help, I bent over to pick it up, at which point she battered the shit out of me, called me a "filthy thief" and threatened to open an umbrella in my ass. What the fuck has the world come to? FML
I agree, your life sucks (30514) - you deserved it (1872)
On 08/25/2011 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23216) - you deserved it (4128)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, the guy at Subway asked if I wanted to make my sandwich a footlong. I'm not sure what came over me, but before I realized what I was saying, I'd told him that I couldn't handle 12 inches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20663) - you deserved it (6986)
On 08/14/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by Username - United States (New York)
Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14449) - you deserved it (22939)
On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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