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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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BlueJeans2626

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BlueJeans2626
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 599
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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BlueJeans2626's favorite FMLs

Today, I got fired from my job as a postman, which I started yesterday. They fired me because I failed to deliver a bunch of papers to a road that no longer exists. FML

#8946577 (172)

I agree, your life sucks (21070) - you deserved it (1406)

On 03/09/2010 at 2:41pm - work - by pat (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, while playing poker, I lost a stack of money to somebody with the screen name "Poopface." FML

#8915112 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (5058) - you deserved it (21615)

On 03/08/2010 at 7:08am - money - by prian (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was home alone. It was very dark and so I went to turn on the lights, when I heard the sound of a gun loading. I dropped to the floor but never heard a gun fire. I got up and heard the sound again. When I got lights on, I discovered it was only my printer telling me it was out of paper. FML

#8882513 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (5830) - you deserved it (14057)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:02am - misc - by OhaiiKid (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boss fired me because "I didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

#8837670 (106)

I agree, your life sucks (14844) - you deserved it (2183)

On 03/05/2010 at 12:23am - work - by koletatlow19 - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said ,"It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

#8397954 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (20003) - you deserved it (2109)

On 02/18/2010 at 1:38am - misc - by Lizzielollipop816 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work and talking to my boss. Out of habit, I tried to adjust my bra strap and pull it up. My hand slipped off the strap and I punched myself in the face resulting in a fat lip. My boss snorted. He told everyone. FML

#8389533 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (11248) - you deserved it (6431)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:18pm - work - by E (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realised the only guy who is showing any slight interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick up lines such as "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18414) - you deserved it (1617)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (18879) - you deserved it (1434)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I texted my girlfriend that I'm going to 'lick my professor's ass' instead of 'kick' due to auto-correction on my phone. FML

#8052532 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (8554) - you deserved it (15700)

On 02/09/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by kingmetal42 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I visited my grandmother who has dementia. She thought I was my father, and told me that I should never have married my mother, let alone have had children with her. FML

#8012707 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (18836) - you deserved it (1081)

On 02/08/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by dmachin - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got mauled by a cat named Mr. Sprinkles. FML

#7989901 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (17559) - you deserved it (3759)

On 02/07/2010 at 10:19pm - animals - by zzdug (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that, if timed just right, the alarm function on my phone can be disabled by a text message. And my dad has an impeccable sense of timing. I was 20 minutes late for work. FML

#7974349 (195)

I agree, your life sucks (16398) - you deserved it (1981)

On 02/07/2010 at 1:58pm - work - by Ishii (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML

#7967953 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (23968) - you deserved it (2306)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:18am - work - by Ryan - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

#7803778 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (7226) - you deserved it (32666)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:51am - misc - by wolfpacking - Sent from mobile version

Today, the windows on my car were frozen. I filled up a bucket of hot water, and threw it on the windows. The windows cracked. FML

#7803413 (300)

I agree, your life sucks (4327) - you deserved it (50673)

On 02/02/2010 at 12:40am - misc - by Chris - Sent from mobile version