About Blue329 : Hey GTFO! Or I will find you. Jk ima joker (:
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
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Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27055) - you deserved it (4974)
On 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Calabria)
Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30509) - you deserved it (2134)
On 02/18/2013 at 9:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25804) - you deserved it (1872)
On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42815) - you deserved it (3323)
On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25756) - you deserved it (5306)
On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17698) - you deserved it (1085)
On 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm - work - by bestnameright - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14285) - you deserved it (5023)
On 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE (man) - United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham)
Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4169) - you deserved it (65162)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by Tasha_1996 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19967) - you deserved it (3341)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States
Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17527) - you deserved it (1543)
On 11/26/2012 at 12:27am - kids - by toritoratora - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20926) - you deserved it (2118)
On 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by nonbelieber (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7085) - you deserved it (29847)
On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (4125)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17798) - you deserved it (1314)
On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14090) - you deserved it (1841)
On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Monday 17 June 2013
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