Blue329

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Blue329

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2076
  • Number of comments : 53
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About Blue329 : Have fun creeping on my profile, although there's nothing interesting to see.I'm socially awkward at times.But it's all good.
Instagram username: A_Lozano89,I'll follow back

Blue329's page activity

Visits<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 7:00am<b>flupsht</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 12:05am<b>andy594328</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 6:25pm<b>Thiaskia</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 2:58am<b>goudou</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 10:33pm<b>AGB10</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 1:01am<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 8:57am<b>WildDeerbra</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:42pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 6:44pm<b>happy_guy1260</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 6:30pm<b>CowTippingDwarfs</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 3:52am<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:12pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 9:41am<b>Sjus</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 5:15am<b>Patty410</b> - the 03/31/2014 at 4:24pm<b>mrnikc</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 11:07pm<b>pinklover1121</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:10pm<b>sanpedrowolfgirl</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:48am

Blue329's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Blue329's badges

Blue329's favorite FMLs

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

by names suck and so do I / 08/08/2013 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Love

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 3:15pm / Italy (Calabria) / Health

Today, I stayed in a hotel near the college I was applying for a scholarship. We were eating breakfast and there were some other applicants in the breakfast room. As we walked away, my mother yelled, "My daughter's gonna get this scholarship so there's no reason for you muddafuckas to show up." FML

by Anonymous / 02/18/2013 at 9:01am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

by Scarlett / 02/16/2013 at 1:03am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

by anonymous / 12/22/2012 at 7:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

by Tonguetied0496 / 12/10/2012 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

by bestnameright / 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

by HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE / 12/09/2012 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Barking and Dagenham) / Love

Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

by anon / 12/08/2012 at 12:33am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I heard a teenage boy ask his friend, "So, is it, like, November in Australia too?" This is the future of America. FML

by toritoratora / 11/26/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my girlfriend started bawling, saying that our relationship wouldn't work. Why? Because if Justin and Selena can't do it, no one can. FML

by nonbelieber / 11/25/2012 at 7:55pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, my family was celebrating my grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank and got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows, my grandma fainted. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2012 at 9:54am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Kids