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BloodNConfetti

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 4:32am) | Search for a member

BloodNConfetti

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 473
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BloodNConfetti : STL Cardinals fan
Reserved but friendly
Loves animals
Has and adores 'sailor style' tattoos
Likes to drive fast
Training for my first 5K

BloodNConfetti's page activity

Visits<b>spokdexter</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 2:37pm<b>strider1987</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:48pm<b>Tsurc96</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:30pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:40am<b>rob02</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:26pm<b>spursunited</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:44pm<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:39am<b>mogila</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:15am<b>MasonDude</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:50pm<b>awiseman</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:42pm<b>AwkwardTurtle97</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:58pm<b>sethmayer9</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:40pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:51pm<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 5:40am<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:41pm<b>JD1147</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:11pm<b>cassiepop21</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:55pm<b>DjSashaRoyal</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:59pm

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BloodNConfetti's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

#20098468
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33219) - you deserved it (2546)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24193) - you deserved it (2741)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

#20042325
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23912) - you deserved it (2078)

On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35801) - you deserved it (10438) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11440) - you deserved it (39287)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

#19822088
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (4253)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by really (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18298) - you deserved it (47510)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

#17279382
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26828) - you deserved it (4226)

On 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

#13394312
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24434) - you deserved it (8122)

On 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Dilly - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML

#3069493
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50989) - you deserved it (5357)

On 06/20/2009 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by groom (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

#2156907
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10452) - you deserved it (46618)

On 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm - misc - by liz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

#1958201
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14865) - you deserved it (40996)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:20am - kids - by Sodge (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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