BloodNConfetti

Search for a member

Offline (the 09/18/2014 at 4:32am)

BloodNConfetti

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1143
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About BloodNConfetti : STL Cardinals fan
Reserved but friendly
Loves animals
Has and adores 'sailor style' tattoos
Likes to drive fast
Training for my first 5K

BloodNConfetti's page activity

Visits<b>Mons</b> - the 08/02/2016 at 2:52pm<b>spokdexter</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 12:30am<b>strider1987</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:48pm<b>Tsurc96</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 6:30pm<b>olpally</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:40am<b>rob02</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 5:26pm<b>spursunited</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 4:44pm<b>mogila</b> - the 07/22/2014 at 12:15am<b>MasonDude</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 11:50pm<b>awiseman</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 7:42pm<b>AwkwardTurtle97</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 2:58pm<b>sethmayer9</b> - the 06/06/2014 at 2:40pm<b>OochenSnoochen</b> - the 06/05/2014 at 7:51pm<b>Deadpool47</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:41pm<b>JD1147</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:11pm<b>cassiepop21</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 2:55pm<b>DjSashaRoyal</b> - the 09/25/2013 at 10:59pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 12:03am

BloodNConfetti's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of BloodNConfetti's badges

BloodNConfetti's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got my hands on the new iPhone 5, after I pulled it out of a patient's rectum. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

by cmc9540 / 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2012 at 1:07am / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML

by ewww / 08/26/2012 at 5:21am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend thought he could make a pregnancy test read positive by jizzing on it. FML

by really / 06/21/2012 at 1:30am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

by girly / 04/12/2012 at 12:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML

Today, I was helping clean my grandpa's garage when I found some of his old election posters from the '50s. They included slogans such as, "Dick: you know it feels right" and "Want growth? Choose Dick." I'm not sure whether to be disgusted or impressed. FML

by Nick / 07/27/2011 at 1:32pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

by Dilly / 10/10/2010 at 4:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I helped my grandparents carry luggage to their hotel room, where they're staying the night tonight after my wedding reception. Their room is 203. Mine is 201. Their room shares a wall with my honeymoon suite. My grandparents are going to hear me consummate my marriage. FML

by groom / 06/20/2009 at 7:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking in Walmart and this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk so I followed him around the store trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. And he told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML

by liz / 05/21/2009 at 7:46pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

by Sodge / 05/15/2009 at 6:20am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous