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Blazerjack

Offline (the 12/20/2014 at 7:52pm) | Search for a member

Blazerjack

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 25 February 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1418
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About Blazerjack : Thinking is dangerous

Blazerjack's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Blazerjack's favorite FMLs

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (4552)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29511) - you deserved it (7817)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41374) - you deserved it (3218)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48492) - you deserved it (8857)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to try something new with my boyfriend, and sexted him. My text ended up sounding so stupid that I panicked and quickly sent another saying "SORRY WRONG PERSON". FML

Today, it's my birthday. My next-door neighbours gave me a stool and some rope. FML

#21194564
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56153) - you deserved it (5206) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/01/2014 at 12:55am - love - by NosChersVoisins - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53732) - you deserved it (7556)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my son has a new hobby after seeing a picture on the internet: putting realistic-looking stickers of spiders at the bottom of my coffee mugs. My wife was scared half to death this morning after downing a cup of coffee and then glancing the cup's bottom. FML

#21139841
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36420) - you deserved it (4296)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:58pm - kids - by itwasathtebottomofmycoffeemug (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38443) - you deserved it (10072)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

#21072191
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47082) - you deserved it (9255)

On 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by lovely (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51055) - you deserved it (5072)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML



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