Blazar420

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Blazar420

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 20 June 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1855
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About Blazar420 : Some say I'm an asshole, some say I'm a dick. Others think I'm a really nice person. If you can take sarcasm, you'll likely be one of the latter. Always open to meeting new people as long as they're not a moron, so if you're confident you're not a moron feel free to message me.

I like classic rock, punk rock (mostly hardcore and Oi, no fucking emo please), 90's alternative, and some old heavy metal.

I am recently (and happily) divorced and have two kids who are awesome (and always will be).

Blazar420's page activity

Visits<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 10:37pm<b>marcie19</b> - the 01/15/2013 at 4:35am<b>MigraineurOfLife</b> - the 04/16/2012 at 10:34pm<b>Cinn</b> - the 01/22/2012 at 1:33pm<b>caranina</b> - the 11/23/2011 at 7:48pm<b>Alexisthebestest</b> - the 11/23/2011 at 12:32pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 09/29/2011 at 10:49am

Blazar420's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of Blazar420's badges

Blazar420's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me for the first time. He stopped just as I was about to orgasm, and asked if I could finish by myself. Apparently he'd come up with a new algorithm for the Rubik's Cube on my desk and wanted to try it out. FML

by Kayt / 10/03/2011 at 12:38am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my son thought it was a good idea to spray deodorant into his mouth because he wanted fresh breath. This resulted in him passing out. My son is 17. FML

by Ramis182 / 10/03/2011 at 12:26am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I had a blind date with a really cute guy. Just when I was about to invite him back to my place for a nightcap, he took out a catalog of Russian mail-order brides and asked for my help in picking out the best one. FML

by NotRussian / 10/03/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Love

Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML

by scared / 10/02/2011 at 5:21pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML

by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

by kewtness_17 / 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 2:48am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML

by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an interview for a job at a company I've applied for numerous times this year. When I showed up at the interview room, I found it was a vacant office. I called and confirmed the address. I guess this was my hint to stop applying. FML

by lyssamarie316 / 09/30/2011 at 8:23pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I was getting ready to perform a speech in anthropology on the globalization of public transportation and how it brings cultures together. On the bus ride there, the girls behind me were discussing ways to hide their track marks after injecting. FML

by nearlythere / 09/30/2011 at 12:50am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I was installing wireless surveillance cameras outside my workplace. Before mounting them, I pointed them around the building to make sure there was a good signal and picture. I got inside to the monitor just in time to see a kid steal one of the cameras. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2011 at 1:44pm / United States / Work

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

by Anonymous / 09/29/2011 at 5:46am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend changed her relationship status on Facebook to 'It's Complicated' because I didn't give her my last cookie. This happens all the time. FML

by danthecomplicate / 09/28/2011 at 10:28pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

by Hypocrisy / 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy